carl winslow

banana phone.

I would put a grenade far up my anus with a mouse trap attached to the ring. I would then proceed to go to a gay bar (pant-less) and ask "who would like to ass fuck me", when the first queer starts to put it in the mouse trap will catch his dick, activating the grenade which will kill me, and at least 2 gay guys. yay

kidnap 20 cats from your local humane society, name them all different hindoo names, put on a santa claus hat, and yell out each name while you "get down" with your ho. Also, make sure to do this on a water bed that has been blessed by a priest at a local church, that way your not only dissapointing your girlfriend with your small penis and chronic douche bagness, you'll also be dissapointing god. Thanks

AND

HAHA my stepbrother had 5 pirahnas and my fish (2 red devils) kicked the shit out of them. Pussys

WOW

I'D HIT IT.

BRILLIANT

I uh,well, I mean, HOLY FUCK, I CANT STOP LAUGHING@!!12 Thank you gotti brothers, tell your mom victoria I said hi.

soup.

People just keep getting dumber.

I feel like jacking off now.

I like ham.

8:00 - wake up with a boner poking in my cats ear (he sleeps under the covers) 8:30 -Take shower etc 9:45 -school for 3 hours, annoying beaner sits next to me I have to look at his cross eyed brown face the entire time. 1:15 -back home 1:45 - make something to eat 3:00 -go to work 10:00-get home from work 10:30-go the the gym (im buff k) 11:45 - Download some porn and go on cragslist women seeking women to get in the mood. 11:50-forgot to feed my fucking cat so I have to sneak in the livingroom with a boner to get his food. 12:00-back on craigslist 12:02- clean up, go to sleep.

I watch this video to start off my day in the right direction. It reminds me, "hey, at least your not black". Then I feel great the rest of the day, thanks mac!

OWNED BEYOND COMPREHENSION. I think I may have lost my ability to laugh for a while.

are you FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????????????????

funniest thing I have seen in a while. Kudos.

hold on im about to laugh, hold on one sec...

Im getting turned on by this bullshit story, wait... Maybe its the cat in my lap...

RANDOM QUOTE OF THE DAY.

About 15-25 brain cells.

and....

The first thing I did when I saw these pics was reset my comp. Because I was hoping it was some kind of error or something. I really can't believe you did that, might as well suck off everyone here since you've gone this far. GOOD DAY

The dumbest thing I have ever even tried to read. It's called school.