jewdozer

I don't suppose you have a link where you copy pasted that from do you? I was hooked.

Any good?

Camping and cooking round a fire is a great way to get in touch with nature and… yes, fuck that, just find a private enclosed location to spit roast it for about nine hours so it’s cooked through. Stuff and apple in its mouth and herb stuffing up it’s ass to maximise favour. Drink red wine and enjoy your miniature long pig before you celebrate with a nice fuck. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/bbq_baby.png You’re flicking your bean and all you can hear is the fucking baby screaming its head off. The fact you haven’t fed it in three days might be the problem so you are going to have to take a break and shut it up. Baby food is specially formulated to give it all the goodness and nutrients to help it grow big and strong. Dog shit, broken glass and drain cleaner are the three main ingredients of good quality baby food so get it fed and carry on. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/feeding_time.png After the baby is born you will suffer from stretch marks, saggy tits and a body so awful, a necrophile wouldn’t fuck you. Waste no time, tone up again. Boxers have the most ripped bodies of all sportsmen so take up the training regime of a boxer. Hang your newborn from a rafter like a punch bag and give it everything you’ve got until it’s reduced to a bloody rag. Bare knuckle training with rings on your fingers will reduce your baby to bits in no time at all. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/baby_punch.png CONCLUSION Abortions are funny, sexy and a good excuse to watch some dude in a white coat fuck your girl with a vacuum cleaner and a toolkit. The DIY option allows you to enjoy a bit of mutilation, screaming and role play. This is a new age, an age where the consequences of our actions are no longer a worry, no longer a problem. Choose life, choose an abortion! http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/conclusion.png http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/swinger.gif Project director: Jewdozer Text: Jewdozer Art: Ajaa Bftony Cumbutcher Hashmere Homodozer Jewdozer JonEvil Nyaa Smilecythe

SPADE Who like gardening? Yes, me too. Lay the bitch out on the floor and dig the little bastard out through her stomach. After you’ve managed to dispose of the miniature, use the mother’s hollowed corpse as a grow bag for your tomatoes. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/spade_chest.png SNATCH AND GRAB Keeping things simple can be the best way. Most girls like to be fingered and this is similar except your whole arm goes up her meat chute. Slide your hand up and push past any resistance. When you get about elbow deep you should be at the right place. Now grab as much as you can and pull your arm out. Your unborn should now be disposed of or made into a shake. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/snatch_grab.png PINCUSHION If you put your hand on the mother’s stomach you might feel or even see the baby kicking, it’s an amazing feeling to think theres a life in there. Now you’ve located the child stick it with a collection of kitchen knives and kill it. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/stabbing_pregnant.png THE AFTERMATH After it’s all over you can look back and reminisce about your experience. A good idea would be to keep a reminder of your adventure and keep the dead baby. Get an airtight jar and fill it with formaldehyde, then put the baby in the jar for a nice mantelpiece feature or a great paperweight. Why not buy it a Christmas present every year like a new jar or play the home video of its execution on its birthday and watch it together as a family. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/foetus_jars.png Don’t forget the grandparents. Take it round so they can see the grandchild they never had and remind them that their family line won’t continue, but will end in a glass jar. Smash the jar over one of their heads and make the other one eat the corpse. Show them the other ten jars of the other aborted children they’ll never see grow up and save their grief and misery for your wank bank. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/baby_jar.png COT DEATH Every man has his moments of weakness and you might be stupid enough to actually let her talk you into keeping it. Even if the creature’s room is decorated and occupied it’s still not too late to abort. There’s a few cheap, fun and quick ways to get the fucking thing dead. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/cot_death.png You got to be a man of action and get your shit locked down quickly before anyone gets used to having ideas about keeping it, you got to kill it quick. Get a shoe in and stamp the bastard to death but just make sure you do the job properly so the docs on the ward don’t bring it back to life. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/stamp_baby.png

DIALATION AND EVACUATION After about 12 weeks the fucking sprogg will start to grow so they need to call in Mr Scissors! A sharp pair of forceps is wedged up her to tear the baby’s limbs off so they can be pulled out. After the arms and legs are in the trash the head is crushed and pulled out. When all that crap is out of the way the torso and other gooey bits are ripped out. Looks like sushi. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/abortion_scissors.png PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION This ones great as it’s used when the baby is fully formed. Using forceps they drag the child out so that only its head is wedged up the trout’s mouth, the rest of the baby is dangling out of her whilst it’s still alive. Using a pair of scissors, (yes Mr fucking scissors again) a cut is made at the base of its skull. The brains are then sucked out causing instant death, allowing it to be removed in one piece. http://lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/partial_birth.png CHEMICALLY INDUCED CONTRAPTIONS! CONTRAPTIONS! Yes filling her full of some kind of pharmaceutical wonder drug can cause the birth to start immediately. They say the contractions can be so violent that they decapitate the baby as it comes out. If it manages to survive that, there’s a good chance you’ll get to see it drop out of her fur burger and break dance on the doc’s operating table as it gasps its last breath. Now that’s a fucking show. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/chemical_abortion.png SMOKE, DRINK AND TAKE CLASS A DRUGS That’s not hard as they are three things we all enjoy doing. Getting wrecked every night and filling one’s blood with toxins will poison the critter. Heroin, excessive alcohol and some Cuban Cohebas should do the trick.. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/drug_abortion.png GOAL KICK It’s the World Cup final and you have to take the penalty shot that could win the tournament and immortalise you and the team forever if only you kick the ball hard enough. Actually, it’s your pregnant fuckbuddy and you’ve got her tied to a tree with her legs open. You know what to do, take a good run up and swing that leg like your life depends on it. Splat! http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/goal_kick.png TOW ROPE If your car gets stuck in deep mud then a tow rope is what you need. A pregnancy is very similar to a stuck car in the sense that you got to pull the cunt out. Loop the rope round the kid and as your driver hits the gas, jump on her guts. It’s head might get ripped off but at least its dead. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/car_abort.png COATHANGER A homebirth classic, this is a simple method where you stick a sharp metal object up her minge and thrash it around till stuff starts dropping out. This is cheap, safe and painless. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/coathanger_baby.png

Hello again myg0t, I hope your beds are places of family fun and frolics. We have a new guide for you and we'd like you to drag your testicles over it and tell us where it tingled most. This is the 14th guide we've made so if this isn't fucking funny we should stop now. Let us know what you think. A LOLOKAUST GUIDE TO ABORTIONS The worst thing a man can hear from his beloved is “Honey, sniff sniff, I’m pregnant, we are going to be having a beautiful baby!” She probably thinks getting herself pregnant is the best way to keep you to herself. Perforating the condoms with pins and secretly coming of the pill are classic methods of ruining your life but these days we have a secret weapon, THE ABORTION! http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/ripped_out.png Diamonds might be a girl’s best friend but an abortion is a trusty stead in a moment of panic to restore a man’s life to balance and equilibrium. We are going to show you how to take care of unwanted babies. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/banner.gif Throw away your condoms and pump away comrades! The age of the abortion is upon us which means no longer do you have to sacrifice that wintastic feeling of barebacking her without a hat on. Bang her and fire as much protein shake up her snatch as you like, it doesn’t matter because you can make her have an abortion. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/pump_away.png What if the dumb fuck wants to keep it? Well get ready guys, there’s going to be tears and screaming but you have to be strong and make her understand it’s all her fault. True, it takes two to make a baby and a good shot of baby batter from your creamstick, but it’s her responsibility to take the morning after pill to kill any life in inside her. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/your_fault.png THE METHODS So what are the ways of killing the unborn? Spin the wheel is the answer to that one, there’s so many to choose from. Some methods you can do together as a family and some need to be booked at the local butcher’s shop. Regardless of the method you choose, it can be a great night in or a fun day out. One method would be to just stab the cunt to death and get rid of them both. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/stab_cunt.png SUCTION ASPIRATION Well this is pretty much a vacuum cleaner only 30 times more powerful. They stick a suction tube with a scraping tool on the end of it up her foof and press play. If they forget to numb her first, you can have a good wank to her screams as all the fragmented foetus and placenta fly up the tube. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/dialation_abortion.png DIALATION AND CURETTAGE This is pretty much as above except the end of the sucker is a sharp slashing and cutting tool which hacks the unborn up so it exits more easily. One problem with this is it can cause damage to her box, resulting in a nasty infection and causing her to become a liability as opposed to a washing/fucking machine. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/abortion/dialation.png

I heil your Hitlers like a mother fucker!

In conclusion We hope after reading this guide, your holy deliveries wont be the same again. There's nothing more to say really. Just don’t be afraid and remember to face challenges of any kind with optimism and a brave mind. Worst thing to do is panic, because panic leads to chaos, chaos leads to disorder of society, that will lead to epidemic mass murder, crime and casualty in business. When all that breaks down there wont be anything left to prevent humanity from turning into a horde of utter dicks. If we all turn into solid piss squirting dicks, how the hell could we fucking poop anymore? http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/newborn.png CREDITS Project director and text: Smilecythe Art: Anal Grinder C_R Chokecherry Cumbutcher Jewdozer Ryan Smilecythe Spudmiester

http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/radio.png http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/toilet_hose.png ORIFICE RELATED REMARKS Make sure you remember the poop isn't only thing to be aware of. The following can happen even when it doesn't have anything to do with poop, which is why they aren't called poops. It's not fun, but we can't put all of our focus on the poops only. There’s always a chance of a third player emerging in middle of your tic-tac-toe battle of destiny. #01 - Piss Enough said to those who have ever sat on the toilet. But to remind those who live under a rock, "piss" with it's scientific name: Urina, commonly gets forced through your urethra by the pressure of your exploding delight hole. Piss, unlike the poop is an aggregation of remaining liquid from drinks and nutrition that's wrenched down to your digestion. In case of a poop and piss combo, you should rejoice! The piss that grinds hard on the porcelain and the poop that creates that deep splash sound on the water can sound like a dual of elegant instruments to one's ear. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/piss_shit.png #02 - Vomit Be it a traffic jam or just a subconscious fetish, sometimes your hydrant just simply doesn't want to work. When this happens, there’s no other choice other than tell your snack to perform a quick U-turn inside your intestines. "Vomit" with scientific name: Georgius, is proven to be the healthiest way to excrete your litters. Some might say otherwise, but god they suck and are wrong. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/vomit.png #03 - Period "Period" aka. "Womanly blood" aka. "Vaginal blood", also known with scientific name: Sanguis Vagina. Hear a rumour of it and the ripples on your spine will keep you awake for a week. Sniff the scent of it and your appetite will turn you into a vegan. See a glimpse of it and your eyeballs will get sucked inside to your naris. Taste it and your muscles will roll a joint out of your own guts. No matter how badly injured, women have a strange ability to store blood inside them for weeks and usually it's only once a month when they bleed like faucets. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/period_blood.png #04 - Mayonnaise Served inside a sandwich or on a potato salad, "Mayonnaise" also known with a scientific name: Serum, is an absolute winner. They say that hunger is the best spice and what can be more joyful than the natural resource from the male genitalia. To all wives out there, make your men happy and your hamburger could never taste better! And to all husbands out there, insert your sauce inside your woman and it will turn into a slice of bacon in time. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/cum_face.png

POOP #15 - Closeout Poop Danger Level: Hardcore pain guaranteed. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/75.png "Closeout Poop" with scientific name: Gravitas Maximus. Having to poop as a food filtering human is your responsibility, skipping your duty till the closest possible moment of deadline will force you to do your work in a hurry with stress which will lead to flawed and loose results. Imagine "Closeout Poop" as a combination of snake and brick poop. It's going to be at least a week's worth of poop you’re going to have to poop out sooner or later. Be careful, some people lose half of their weight on the process. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/closeout_poop.png That’s all! And now, before you’re all completely lost to the vast dimension of poop information, we must move forward to what’s even more important than the knowledge of poops. NECESSARY POOPING ITEMS Something always goes wrong so it's good to prepare following items to gain a superior position in the bathroom: http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/toilet_paper.png http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/tooth_brush.png http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/news_paper.png http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/warm_slippers.png

POOP #12 - False Alarm Poop Danger Level: Time killer. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/00.png "False Alarm Poop" just like the one above, doesn't yet have a scientific name, so we call it in short "FAP". Unlike any other poop, this isn't actually a poop. FAP condition appears when your brain receives a message directly from your stoolmouth saying "I can't hold it anymore!". You naturally take a seat on toilet bowl. You fart couple of time, but then you notice there ain't no poop coming. You were just deceived, hahaha. FAPs are unpredictable, but nothing to worry about. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/false_alarm.png POOP #13 - Snake Poop Danger Level: Risky, don't let your guard down. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/05.png "Snake poop" with scientific name: Anguis Serpens. This fucking shit is the kind of poop no matter how much you look at it, it reminds you of a snake. It’s so much of a snake you will think if you can lure it out smoothly if you play the flute or wiggle a dead rat in front of your asshole. Unfortunately, there’s only one orthodox way to get it out which makes such sweet thinking pretty understandable. This poop is never ending, thin and once out, will mount and eventually trickle out from the slots of the toilet seat. Snake poop isn't dangerous, all you need is patience. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/snake_shit.png POOP #14 - Dinner Poop Danger Level: Could cause shock and trauma. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/05.png "Dinner Poop" with scientific name: Cibus Shitteus. This poop is complete evidence of all the dinners you've had within the last three days. Why so? Okay, let’s have a look. Those carrots are visible for a thousand kilometers, those corns have lost some colour, but I can still tell they’re corns, I would totally eat those peas and that Gamecube memory card looks like it can still be used. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/dinner_poop.png

POOP #09 - Nigger Danger Level: ENORMOUS! Danger level worth two fucking bars. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/075.png "Nigger" with scientific name: Niger, is a poop that takes nine months to build up. This is the most humane poop found from the poop type reports. In a case of Niger, you should absolutely flush the toilet because in time it will grow up, eat your food, learn improper grammar, scream all day long, hang in your curtains, steal your property and finally threaten your family sexually. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/nigger_shit.gif POOP #10 - Agent Poop Danger Level: Unpredictable. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/08.png "Agent Poop" aka. "Wet fart" also known with scientific name: Excido Secretum, is one sneaky motherfucker. It can strike when you run, workout, dance or basically if you forget to pay attention to your shithose. This is Agent Poop's most advantageous moment to make a run for it using his unbelievable stealth skills and unhesitating attitude and usually finds his way out from your pant leg undetected. Agent poop doesn’t have any regular character, it could be hard, soft, caustic or wet which makes it very dangerous and unpredictable. Agent poop's chances of escape depend on his shape as well. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/dead_shit.png POOP #11 - Apocalyptic Tarzan Poop Danger Level: Life-Threatening. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/08.png "Apocalyptic Tarzan Poop" doesn't yet have a scientific name, so we call it in short "ATP". This poop is very annoying from the beginning to the end. It starts with persistent adversity in the mouth of the rectum but once it's half outside, it grabs the nearest ass hair and starts swinging like a liana. Once it gets bored it makes a cannonball jump to the pool which will make the water splash all over your cheeks. In a case of ATP, do not worry. Every country besides Poland has ATPs under 24h/7 satellite surveillance. Flush the toilet and the self-defence force will do the rest. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/atp_hunter.png

POOP #06 - Phantom Poop Danger Level: Scary as shit. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/05.png "Phantom Poop" with scientific name: Spiritus Crapito, is the kind of poop who's existence you’re 100% certain of. You felt it cramming out, you heard the water spilling, but due an unknown phenomenon there's not a single trace of it. In the late 90's there was one Swedish actress called Helena Bergström who without any suspicion or fear, went to push out a poop in her bathroom. She was frightened when she noticed the toilet was empty after all the trouble she went through. Later that night, the poop came into her bedroom and literally floated above her bed. In the case of "Phantom Poop", wake up your family and dial an exorcist. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/phantom_poo.png POOP #07 - Diarrhea Danger Level: Messy, but nothing to worry about. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/01.png "Diarrhoea" with scientific name: Femina Cacatus, has many kinds of formats. There's painful diarrhoea, diarrhoea that has similarities with porridge, piss diarrhoea and hardcore nuclear diarrhoea. Even though they sound different, they follow the same principles, your belly gets upset, you run to the toilet bowl and then you piss shit like a lady. Getting hit by a surprise diarrhoea in crowded train station is one of the finest experiences a man could have. http://lolokaust.com/pics/poop/shit_bomb.png POOP #08 - Furniture Poop Danger Level: Could cause difficulties in anal-masturbations in the future. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/05.png "Furniture Poop" with scientific name: Anal Dramatis, is a very common thing in the adult entertainment industry. Furniture poop is simply item(s) that have been stuck in your anal aperture for few days which finally find their way out simultaneously with natural excrement deliveries. Blood is expected in the case of sharp furniture so remember to prepare some band-aids if you’re not aware of the content of your anus. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/funiture_poop.png

POOP #03 - Green Poop Danger Level: Risky, but still easy to keep under control. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/04.png "Green poop" with scientific name: Viridis Merda, is a mixture of vegan meals, average poop and bile. This is the kind of poop you don't want an encounter with because not only does it smell awful, it’s also green and very messy. You should consider eating meat and sweets the moment you give birth to this monster. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/Green%20Poop.png POOP #04 - Brick Poop Danger Level: Like smoking, it strains your stamina. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/06.png Oh lordi, this is the kind of poop that killed Farrah Fawcett. "Brick Poop" with scientific name: Limus Poopus, is a biological weapon developed by misunderstandings between your digestion network and Arabic food. When this kind of crap occurs, you mustn’t hurry or else you'll blow every single vein in your head. Take it easy and slow because worst cases in brick pooping history have gone beyond surgical operations, keep that in mind. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/shitting_bricks.png POOP #05 - Rapid Fire Poop Danger Level: Dangerous in the wrong hands. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/06.png "Rapid fire poop" with scientific name: FAMAS F1, comes out in small and hard pieces. Imagine brick poop, but with more uncontrollable trigger and destructive power. Rapid fire poops are hard to prevent, but you can reduce the damage by preparing a first aid kit, bullet proof toilet bowl and a vest. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/famas_poo.png

Hello myg0t, we hope you are in good health and that your fortunes are like that of a Jew. We like dumping these on here before we bring them out because the feedback we get tickles our fancy. Have a read, you might learn something.... INTRODUCTION Having trouble in your shit seat? Does your inexperience leave behind substandard or stressful poops? This guide offers a bag of information to those interested from a scientific, sexual or some other point of view. And yes, like Man.. The Poop also has different kinds of races, categories, formats and senses of fashion. First, let's start off with the hero who's been taking it all on his shoulders alone for mankind past many centuries. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/celebrity_shit.png Let us guide you to the better way, let us reveal the secrets of mankind to you. Team Lolokaust has been studying and experimenting poops long before your rope skipping grandparents discovered their genitals. Everything you need to know about crap is right here in front of you. Don't be afraid, dig in further! http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/banner.gif POOP #01 - Average poop Danger Level: Minimal, nothing to worry about. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/01.png Just like white people, "Average poop" with scientific name: Normalis Cacare, is the dominating majority all over the planet. We all recognise average poop for its smooth evanescence, fragile structure and smelly aura. There’s nothing to worry about in Average poop, this kind of poop is routine in your busy lives. Just be sure not to take off with an unclean exit-hole. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/poop_final.png POOP #02 - Healthy Poop Danger Level: None. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/00.png "Healthy Poop" with scientific name: Bonus Supero, is a sign of good health. It comes out smoothly, doesn’t hang in assfur and hardly smells at all. It's so perfect that you might as well recycle and eat it. http://www.lolokaust.com/pics/poop/health_poop.png