p0x

======================== The Art of Trolling ======================== by p0x / Mephisto Monday, June 9th, 2008 This was a collaborative effort of p0x and Mephisto. This guide may not be used outside without expressed permission, or unless p0x or Mephisto has posted it somewhere else. Honestly, it doesn't matter if you read a guide or not; trolling is a skill. If you can't do it, don't bother trying or you'll get completely owned. Even so, this is a pretty interesting read and full of lulz. ======================== Dedicated To... ======================== This guide is dedicated to x612. You're amazing. Amazingly queer. ======================== Introduction ======================== The reasons for trolling can be described in three ways: 1.) For the lulz. 90% of trolling on a forum will be easily recognizable to other experienced users of the internet. This will provide humor for not only you, but the majority of users with enough intelligence not to be trolled. 2.) 'Getting' another user. If there is an annoying/detrimental member of the forum you currently occupy, you may want him to leave or tarnish his persona. 3.) Throwing everyone off-topic. If you're losing an argument, or just doing it for the lulz, a troll will slowly drag the thread off-topic until everyone in the thread is flaming each other. These goals can be achieved with relative ease through the techniques in this guide. ======================== Trolling Techniques ======================== So what is a troll? Well, there's 6 general techniques for trolling: 1.) The Stupid Troll This troll acts like an idiot to piss people off. ex: hay guise i believ in bible bcuz god says so!! evolution is totally wrooong and is teh devilz!! === They will enter a conversation (or start one in the same way) claiming that their argument is completely true, and anyone who disagrees is wrong. For this to work, make sure the topic you choose is blatantly wrong and makes you look like a complete idiot. The goal is to look stupid as possible, which will cause groups of people to gang up on you and remind you of just how stupid you are. This Stupid Troll can also be used in a running intelligent debate (preferably if there are stupid active members on your forum) to lulzy extent. ex: Young Earth vs The Real Earth === Ben: This is my (real earth) reasoning. Jon: BUT HOW COULDL THE EARTH AND EVERYTHING GET THER???? Ben: That doesn't matter. You are stupid for mentioning that. Steve: Hey! Leave Jon alone! Jon, I encourage your faith. (young earth reasoning) Your troll's stupidity has now become the main topic of the debate, and other members will tempt to protect your innocence from the murdering atheist scum. Leave the debate to run after your first post and only repost if the subject begins to move back on topic. 2.) The Flaming Troll Self-explanitory. This type of troll will insult the user they choose into flaming them back. This is obvious trolling and should not be done when an admin is online, and delete the evidence afterwards. Edit your posts, and try to choose an opponent who doesn't quote posts as much.You should know at least one subject that is relevant to your target, ex: they are fat, ugly, or a homophobe. ex: You're fat and ugly. Also, everyone thinks you're gay. === But, once you have initiated their assault, stop blatantly flaming. Say subtle things to keep them pissed off and attacking you. That way when the admins get on and investigate, it looks like they were the ones doing all the flaming. That's also where post editing comes in handy. 3.) The Intelligent Troll This is the one of the most subtle form of trolling, and hardest to maintain. All you have to do is start an overkilled argument that will pit two different groups of people against each other. You should use a Strawman argument to initiate the debate. Although if there's enough intelligent people around, they'll get themselves going. Here are some examples of topics that been argued time and time again, and will almost always produce flaming at some point. ex: Evolution vs Creationism, Abortion, Young-Earth vs The Real Earth === As you can see, your best bet is trolling devout followers of the bible; trolling athiests is still satisfying. The point is to get them to attack each other. Again, once they start debating, Retreat from the debate. Stay out of the line of fire so you cannot be blamed later for starting the mess. 4.) The Sockpuppet For this you need to create another account. You will act as a different person who supports anything your main account says, and lashes out at your opponents. Since you're acting as a different person, you can use the three previous trolling techniques with this account. You should probably use this when you are losing an argument and want to throw your main opponent off-topic instead of you losing. ex: === Jon: This is my argument. Ben: Your argument is false because of this (evidence) Your Sockpuppet: Ben is wrong because he's stupid. Jon is a genius and knows what he's talking about. Do not refute his logic or you are just telling everyone how stupid you really are. Go kill yourself. Now if "Ben" doesn't recognize this as a troll, he might retaliate and flame your sockpuppet. If he doesn't try to different methods of provoking him until you get what you want. This form of trolling can be variated in several ways - for example, you could start a flame war between yourself and the puppet, until enough members take 'both sides' of your trolling. 5.) The Disgusting Troll The aim of this technique is to partially gross out the audience. This is especially effective on a forum full of younger kids. ex: Necrophilia === Jon: Dead people can't say no... That's the way I like it. Also, I like a nice stiff pussay. Ben: OH MAN Jon: What, not man enough to do it? I mean I banged that cadaver so hard she came her own guts. Other internet tough guys and 12 year olds will probably form a flame war over whether the topic is manly or disgusting. If all does not go to plan, you may want to form a sockpuppet argument to bump the thread, although most self respecting trolls wouldn't be bothered to do this. A variation of this technique is to start a flame war by pretending to be a chav, bro, goth, or other extremist culture. Write a thread describing your depressed, emo ridden day, or how you stabbed somebody because he scratched your Rolex. The opposite end of the social spectrum will notice this and instantly start attacking you for your beliefs. 6.) Internet Tough Guy This really is just a variant of the flaming troll. You act like a complete B.A. to piss everyone off. Exploit any insecurity of your opponent. Make sure you say stuff like,"If we met IRL I'd beat the hell out of you" as often as possible. Ask for their address and home state so they think you'd want to travel a huge distance JUST to beat them up. ex: === Jon: You're a fat pig. You couldn't fight if your life depended on it. I would stomp your face into the pavement and rape you into the morning. You're a weak little punk. Ben: Hey **** you faggot! I'm not fat and I bet I would kick YOUR 4ss. Make sure you're doing this publicly. The point is to humiliate him enough to get HIM to start acting like an internet tough guy, too. This method is best used with a sockpuppet. ======================== Cooperation ======================== Occasionally, another troll may realize what's going on and join in on your fun. This is the best possible thing that could happen. The collaborative efforts of several trolls will produce immense lulz and mayhem. With several trolls, you can much more easily start flame wars or throw threads totally off-topic. It saves your time and wastes everyone elses. ======================== Conclusion ======================== By following and using the techniques in this guide you should be well on your way to d1cking off most of the internet. Make sure you vary and combine different styles and techniques of trolling so that nobody catches on to a specific technique, or they will most likely mention it whenever you attempt to troll in the future. Remember, if you have to consistently bump your thread or similar without a lulzy response, then you have failed. The reason that trolling is satisfying is because the troll is getting others to do his dirty work for him. Happy hunting. ======================== Credits ======================== p0x - The majority of the guide, and little bits added to Mephisto's parts. Mephisto - Proof reading, revised parts of the guide, added the Gross Troll and Conclusion.

Then you're S.O.L., my guess is they're all traps. Notice how none of them have tits.

And I thought I loved the sweet science before..