Posted August 21, 200519 yr I found this very funny, don't post to tell me this is old, because I don't care... http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/advice.asp # Q: How will a ban on masturbation be enforced? A: Strictly! Among other tactics, President Bush plans to: * Place random masturbation-checkpoint roadblocks in America's cities, at which motorists will be stopped and their cars searched for signs of masturbation by police with finger-sniffing dogs. * Add the phrase "Masturbation-Free" to the Pledge of Allegiance and require everyone to recite this and other loyalty oaths when buying food or receiving health care. * Create wide masturbation-free zones around schools. As harsh as the punishment for masturbation will be, we'll double it if the offense occurs within four miles of a school. * Make anti-masturbation research a priority. The thousands of scientists and engineers currently wasting their time on trivial matters like cancer and AIDS should be permanently diverted to developing an effective anti-masturbation strategy and a space-based missile defense shield. * Create a National Secret Police Force to investigate incidents of masturbation, terrorism, flag-burning and hippie drum circles.
August 21, 200519 yr lmfao george is dumb ass Edit: Theres too many guys in the us... its not possible lol
August 21, 200519 yr hahaha omg no way can that be real....hahahahah rifk funniest page I've seen today EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating. PROBABLY, but there's always the chance that he's not :o
August 21, 200519 yr hahaha omg no way can that be real....hahahahah rifk funniest page I've seen today EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating. PROBABLY, but there's always the chance that he's not :o Yeah, after all, there's a high probability that he's just re-adjusting the position of it. :eek3d:
August 21, 200519 yr Author How to prevent your child masterbating? Remove your child's bedroom door. Privacy is one of the leading causes of masturbation.
August 21, 200519 yr "ROCK" MUSIC: Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try masturbation. I lolled at this for a minute irl
August 21, 200519 yr # DEPRESSION: Is your teenager depressed? If a teenager acts sullen, withdrawn or unhappy – the most likely cause is chronic masturbation. # DESIRE FOR PRIVACY: Does your child lock his or her bedroom door? It is not healthy for a teen to desire privacy. Chances are he or she is in there masturbating.
August 21, 200519 yr LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! thats gotta be the greatest thing ive ever seen, everyone has masterbated at one point or another no stopping it. its not a desiese unless your doing it every hour of every day.. now thats just umm yea weird thats when its unhealthy, and if thats the case president buch shoulda told the moms to have a chick suck their kid off then maybe he would stop!
August 21, 200519 yr ROFL nice find now im gonna go remove my son's door so he cant masterbate....oh yeah hes only 11 months.lol........oh well the devil will have him soon too :jerkit2:
August 21, 200519 yr ROFL nice find now im gonna go remove my son's door so he cant masterbate....oh yeah hes only 11 months.lol........oh well the devil will have him soon too :jerkit2: im loving how you have a son, yet your name is still t3hpwnz3r :wow: anyways, LOL nice find, very educational :dfinger:
August 21, 200519 yr I think it's so funny that they can blame all those things on masturbation... Unless it's true?
August 21, 200519 yr Does your child lock his or her bedroom door? It is not healthy for a teen to desire privacy. Chances are he or she is in there masturbating. Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try masturbation. RIFKELLE :rofl: RIFKELLE You made my day :bowrofl:
August 21, 200519 yr ROFL nice find now im gonna go remove my son's door so he cant masterbate....oh yeah hes only 11 months.lol........oh well the devil will have him soon too :jerkit2: Right, even though you act like a 12 year old Fucknut. And d0wn is right.
August 21, 200519 yr d0wn']if you are stupid enough to think thats real you deserve to be shot in teh faec you die, k? we laugh, not believe, ***.
August 21, 200519 yr lmfao george is dumb ass Edit: Theres too many guys in the us... its not possible lol You're the moron who thinks that site is government sanctioned.... the real site is http://www.whitehouse.gov for your information.
August 21, 200519 yr åØPractically all music CDs, tapes or MP3 files in your child's possession must be destroyed, especially if they are by pornographic "Rap-Hop" artists such as Garth Brooks, Britney Spears or Clay Aiken. RIFK!!!!!!!!!!
August 21, 200519 yr This kinda shit is why im not religous... :dfinger: hahaha omg no way can that be real....hahahahah rifk funniest page I've seen today EVIDENCE: Have you caught your child masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down stroking his erect penis, he's probably masturbating. PROBABLY, but there's always the chance that he's not Yeah, after all, there's a high probability that he's just re-adjusting the position of it. :ughwerd:
August 21, 200519 yr EyeReesh']You're the moron who thinks that site is government sanctioned.... the real site is http://www.whitehouse.gov for your information. RLLY?
August 21, 200519 yr IMPORTANT NOTICE - PLEASE READ: By purchasing from this store, you indicate that you possess sufficient grey matter to both comprehend and accept that the WHITEHOUSE.ORG Parody and its "Officious Gift Shop" (which you are viewing now) are not enthusiastically endorsed by the United States Government and/or its Executive Branch.
