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Retards

1iNuX
1iNuX
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Never seen it before now, but #25 has to be the best.

 

 

Trevor is in third grade. He was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and as a result is very slow. He is also very bad at reading. He guesses at words, and doesn't even know his sounds. The most frustrating part is that he doesn't care. It doesn't seem to bother him that, in his reading group are three kindergarteners and him.

 

Last year I had Trevor's brother in my class. He has since moved on to high school. He was scary. I guarantee he will be on America's Most Wanted in like 10 years. We fought just about every day last year because he always wore bandanas to school, which is against school rules. He would always try to compromise with me regarding the bandana ("if I finish all my typing, can I wear it out to recess", etc.)

 

The most annoying thing he would do was to constantly repeat song lyrics. At least fifteen times a day he would, out of nowhere, bust out with "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady". I wanted to beat him. Near the end of last year he had changed it to "Notorious B-I-G- baby baby". This wasn't nearly as bad as "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady" but was still annoying.

 

Trevor has replicated this annoying habit. It is as if his brother and him concocted a New Years resolution to piss me off. Trevor was sent to the principal's office, then eventually home because he could not stop saying "Forty degrees when I tell that bitch please." This was his answer to anything and everything. During reading group I asked him to read one sentence from the book. He puts his finger on the sentence, and says, while pretending to be reading, "Forty degrees when I tell that bitch please."

 

Luckily, the kindergarteners are too young and retarded to comprehend this. Trevor was sent to the principal's office after doing the same thing three more times.

 

Today Trevor returns, and his new phrase is "Young and dangerous, ain't nobody can hang with us." This one isn't as bad, but it pisses me off because he is saying ain't. I don't want my kids to hear this, because they will be prone to repeating it.

 

After several warnings, the behavior continues, so he goes back to the office. The principal asks him if he needs to call his mom to come get him.

 

Trevor's response--I kid you not--"Nigga Please."

 

He went home shortly after that.

This is possibly the best link on these forums in the last two weeks. Here, have an e-cookie.
could probably compose a lengthy memoir about Francis, who was a student of mine last year. A brief description of just Francis, not even the shit he caused: 4th grade, 10 years old, 210 pounds, thick ass fucking glasses, a hearing aid, very slow speech, clothing that was always too tight, and the kicker: THE KID SHIT HIS PANTS MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY!!!

 

rofl

15: Even punishments can be funny

 

If the tards are bad at recess, they have to sit at the "ball box" and untangle the jumpropes. It is virtually impossible for them. I make them do it so I can watch them get frustrated and kick and grunt. These are the small pleasures that make my day tolerable.

 

lol

 

Numerous misspellings. Some are phonetically impossible. I blame myself, as I am obviously a poor teacher. Oh wait, nevermind, she's retarded.

 

:wow:

- Emmy got so excited when I was looking at a book with her that she kicked me in the knee really hard, huge bruise already.

 

- I was so angry that for nap time I put on Wheelz of Steel by Outkast instead of the usual "Betterman" by Pearl Jam. The tards were whining and crying. I was laughing.

 

- Zach peed his pants. Second time this week.

 

- I got pulled over for speeding in a school zone. I had to pull into the school parking lot to deal with the cop. He left his lights flashing, and everyone was staring. The short busses pull in, my kids wave at me, see the police lights, and think I am getting in big trouble. One tard refuses to get off the bus. Apparently he has learned from incidents with his parents that flashing lights mean daddy is going away for awhile.

 

- Kids learned a new song in music. I go to pick them up. The music teacher tells them to sing me the song. They all had forgotten it.

 

- Ivan brought food coloring from home, and then eats it.

 

- I tell Zach to stop picking his nose. He tells me his mom says it is OK to pick your nose, just not OK to eat the boogies.

 

- I am reading "Red Racer" to the kids. It is about a girl who tries to ruin her bike so her parents will buy her a new one. One page describes the sound as her bike goes over a cliff like this "bong, bong, bong." Ivan raised his hand and said his dad has a bong

 

- Got a new kid today. He can't sit still for the life of him. I told him to put his coat in the coat closet and he started to bitch right off the bat. "Work is too hard, I hate working." Hopefully he will pee in his pants or masturbate or something good.

 

Oh shit i love this site.

http://www.tard-blog.com/archives/entries/ndpn/2_tards_and_stickers.phtml

 

omg stickers! :wow: :wow: :wow:

 

THIS IS A GOOD SITE RIFK.

 

36: Riti a teacher, not a dietician:

 

Brad's mom has specifically asked me to watch over his sugar intake. Apparently, they think he may be diabetic. I adhere to her request, but he hates it. When the others get to chose from the treat jar, Brad gets a sticker. Don't get me wrong, Tards love stickers, but the Tard needs hierarchy begins with candy.

 

One time Brad got fed up with this arrangement, and told me, "Aren't you listening to me, I don't want ANY fucking stickers!"

 

But by far the best part about this whole non-sugar things was this:

 

Thursday they are in the lunch line. They get to chose their beverage. The choices: white milk, chocolate milk, orange juice, apple juice, grape juice. Brad's mom had told me that he could have any of the options except chocolate milk. Of course, this is exactly what he wants.

 

I told him that chocolate milk was not an option. He flipped out, rattling off numerous funny comments, including: "White milk looks like bunny throw-up," and "Even that fat kid gets chocolate milk" (referring to Augusta, who always selects 2 chocolate milks) and to me, "I'd like to see you drink white milk." He is right, I hate white milk, but I did not tell him this.

 

He settled on grape juice. Then we argued over whether or not he could have a cookie. I wasn't up for the argument. I am not a dietician. I am a tard teacher. Recognize.

as much as i rifk at how he makes fun of them and what the tards do to him... its still kinda sad how the parents dont give a shit about their crack-addict born FAS tards

 

i remember a loong time ago when i went to middle school in 8th grade this one kid with tourette's once brung a knife to school and tried to stab a kid but the kid ended up beating the shit outta him and then his fatass mom(she was like, 300+ pounds) came to pick up her tard and yelled at the principal...sigh* that school was so ghetto.

 

EDIT: i like this one:

74: Tards learn about different races:

 

Ivan and the old new kid are both at the sink, washing their hands before they eat snack. Ivan is half Caucasian and half African-American. Evan's skin is, indeed, brown. The old new kid keeps telling Ivan to keep washing his hands, they are still brown and dirty. The old new kid truly knows no better then to make a comment of this sort, he is six years old and mildly retarded.

 

Finally, after a good two minutes of the old new kid criticizing Evan's hand washing techniques, the old new kid screams out

 

"TEACHER, EVAN'S HANDS WON'T TURN NOT BROWN."

 

It was at that point that I read the class "Elmer the Elephant", a book about skin color differences. We discussed it afterward, I really think the majority of them caught the message.

I think it might be fake...what kind of sped teacher would call the kids tards? Then again i have only seen one side of teachers, the one they show to the students so i dunno. Fucking hilarious though
as much as i rifk at how he makes fun of them

 

That's a woman. And yes, it's pretty sad when you think of it.

I think it might be fake...what kind of sped teacher would call the kids tards? Then again i have only seen one side of teachers, the one they show to the students so i dunno. Fucking hilarious though

 

I doubt it. The story is consistent and there are no hiccups. I agree though, fucking hilarious.

Tyrell's coach is nearing him, when Tyrell announces " Coach get away from my cock!!!" I have never in my life seen a kid as out of control as Tyrell was at this point. I was truly amazed.

 

lmfao!

I think it might be fake...what kind of sped teacher would call the kids tards? Then again i have only seen one side of teachers, the one they show to the students so i dunno. Fucking hilarious though

 

As far as i remember, the home page said she was retired.

As far as i remember, the home page said she was retired.

 

Which is weird, because I thought that she stated that she was 24 somewhere in her blog. She probably just quit writing for the site or quit her job.

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