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First one was the best, lmao

 

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90?, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

 

CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a pi$$ before the film starts.

 

Haha I got a laugh out of those two. This is some funny stuff.

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