Posted November 7, 200519 yr Funny. Probly not real but SO FUNNY. " NO , PLEASE DO NOT PLUG ME INTO THE MATRIX!!!!" http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1103/matrixrevolutions.html
November 7, 200519 yr Funny. Probly not real but SO FUNNY. " NO , PLEASE DO NOT PLUG ME INTO THE MATRIX!!!!" http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1103/matrixrevolutions.html i'd laugh but what if your dick was burnt to a crisp ouchies
November 8, 200519 yr Baptist Boy Attempts to Plug Himself Into The Matrix by Inserting His Penis Into a Lamp Socket! LOL! "I want one of them sissy Jews out there in California to step up and take responsibility for what they did to my grandson’s willy! And I want a formal apology in writing from the two Pollock directors who created the film that caused this mess in the first place!" I have a formally prepared written letter from the Jews in California: Dear Wilkins Family, LOL j00r son got pwnt! -Sissy Jews in California When ambulances arrived a few hours later after the drivers had finished Bible study, they found Geoffrey on the front lawn unclothed, unconscious, and his body covered with more punctures than a Palm Beach ballot. "There was smoke pouring out of his hiney and his little penis was burnt to a smoldering crisp," reported Baptist paramedic, Hank Farmer. HAHA A BURNT PEN0R! "We even found a stash of his old Pokemon pocket demons he tried to hide under his mattress along with a naughty National Geographic magazine and a Ziploc baggy full of grass clippings," said Pastor. "From the salty taste of the crud on his bed sheets I knew right away that I was sitting at the very heart of the hormonally frenzied vortex of teenage sexuality. I kept imagining – over and over again – my handsome grandson, naked, trembling and giving in to the wicked, sweaty sins of the flesh." I give into sweaty sins of the flesh in my shower. POKEMOM POCKET DEMONS AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC :O Somehow i think its fake though...just kinda sounds like it.
November 8, 200519 yr dude OMFG ahahahahahahahaha im dyin here thats funny as hell. ahahahaha and he blames Hollywood for it.
November 8, 200519 yr Pastor Wilkins related earlier this week that he discovered his 14-year-old grandson, Geoffrey, took advantage of the fact that the rest of his family was deep in prayer to sneak out of the living room unnoticed in order to run off and see the new Matrix movie How long do they effin pray for?! I was so possessed with Godly rage over what my grandson had done to smear the name of Jesus that I ran to my tool shed and grabbed the Black and Decker power drill and a handful of extension cords right off the wall," said Wilkins. "That’s the last thing I remember besides little Geoffrey screaming, 'No Grandpa! Please - No! Don't plug me into the Matrix!'" .....Sounds like he did it to his grandson... "There were also frayed electric cords that appeared to have been hastily crammed into the young man like an electric enema." WTF?!!!!!!11 "....Geoffrey knew when he saw me with all those buzzing and sparking orange cords, that I hadn’t showed up for any of our usual harmless Catholic priest and altar boy educational bonding tomfoolery." HAHahahah!!1 He rapes his son in the anus!!11 Only this time, it was with extension cords and Black and Decker Drills. "From the salty taste of the crud on his bed sheets I knew right away that I was sitting at the very heart of the hormonally frenzied vortex of teenage sexuality. I kept imagining – over and over again – my handsome grandson, naked, trembling and giving in to the wicked, sweaty sins of the flesh." Why would ANY grandmother taste something that even resembles semen on someone's sheets? Hell, why would anyone taste ANYTHING on someone sheets. Hell.. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE IMAGINE HER GRANDSON MASTURBATING?!1 (Hahah, she went into a lot of detail with it too. Her "handsome grandsom," "nake and trembling," and she imagined it over and over again. Almost sounds like she's actually SEEN him wank it before.) "...signing up for the football team rather than wasting his time all day up in his room, reading silly science fiction books and beat smackin' his ding dong to photos of saggy breasted Negro women with giant metal rings on their necks!" Yes, because we all know how it's better to have your grandson naked and in a locker room, being smacked on the ass buy a bunch of beefy "Negro" men. GG, grandma. "...I feel very strongly in finding out that I was sexually violated during a period of 'lost time' when I blacked out during the second film..." Hahahahaha!! He was wankin' it to Keanu. Don't lie. Too bad none of this was real =[
November 8, 200519 yr I was so possessed with Godly rage over what my grandson had done to smear the name of Jesus that I ran to my tool shed and grabbed the Black and Decker power drill and a handful of extension cords right off the wall," said Wilkins. "That’s the last thing I remember besides little Geoffrey screaming, 'No Grandpa! Please - No! Don't plug me into the Matrix!'" Haha, he was raged.
November 8, 200519 yr You know the forum is full of people who haven't been on the internet too long when they dont know that LANDOVER BAPTIST IS A FUCKING JOKE. They've got tons of hilarious shit on there. But I laugh the most at you idiots who thought it was anywhere near potential truth. Especially those who analyzed it. GG dumbasses.
November 8, 200519 yr Author Dude Chill out. We were only having a laugh at somethign funny I saw. Is it really my fault I don't live out my life in a room with a computer screen. So stop flaming you troll.
November 8, 200519 yr I ADVOCATED A BAN FOR THE MATRIX IN AUSTRALIA YEARS AGO I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS UNGODLY SATINIST PROPAGANDA
November 8, 200519 yr "There was smoke pouring out of his hiney and his little penis was burnt to a smoldering crisp,"
November 8, 200519 yr "I always worried that the homosexuals who run Hollywood would come after my grandson’s little hoochie, but I never thought it would happen quite like this," said Pastor Wilkins." My grandson's little hoochie. lmao! Grandson had pen0r not hoochie, silly goose.
November 10, 200519 yr You know the forum is full of people who haven't been on the internet too long when they dont know that LANDOVER BAPTIST IS A FUCKING JOKE. They've got tons of hilarious shit on there. But I laugh the most at you idiots who thought it was anywhere near potential truth. Especially those who analyzed it. GG dumbasses. Hahaha! Dumbass. I'm the one that analyzed it, and you even fucking missed at the bottom I wrote "Too bad none of this was real =\." Fucking moron. http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a273/zodiacnn88/zodiacowned.jpg
