We had to write a horror story for english. so I thought. hey jesus VS bruce cambell. we did'nt even get throu the prolog when the teacher stopped the reading

 

lawlz

 

Germany 1943….

Hans was cleaning his rifle in the barracks as he usually does, when he heard a noise. It was the door. A robed figure entered the room. Hans was calm as if the seas of his soul had turned into a serene lake. The hooded and robed figure said in soft words. “Come to me my child.” Hans slowly walked toward him. The figure let down his hood, “My child I am the messiah and I have returned” Hans stepped back “JEWDEN!”

Guards rushed in. “My children” man had said. “I come to you with good words” The guards start screaming random things. One snuck up behind the man a head butted him with a rifle.

 

The man awoke with a heavy pain on the back of his head. He found himself bound to a metal chair. He also noticed he was in a room full of the men that captured him. One of the men that was better dressed, approached him. “Who are you?” the man asked. “I am Jesus” replied the figure. The man slapped him across the face. “You are Jewden!” he screamed. “You have no name” In the following months Jesus was tortured and beaten by Nazis until one day in 1945.

 

Jesus was kneeling down by one of the inmates who was near death. One of the guards noticed him. The starved man stood up, his face as bright as the sun. With a smile on his face he walked off. The guard ran to the CO's office and told him of what happened. On the 8th of June 1945 Jesus was imprisoned, experimented on, brain washed, and cryogenically frozen............. next to Hitler

 

Dearborn, Michigan

1998

 

My name is Ash, and I am an S-Mart Employee. In these past eight years I've witnessed unspeakable evils. I have spared with demons from the nine hells themselves. And have been flung through time and space, to a land of death and despair, only to return a freak and a murder suspect. Sure, I mean its right to suspect a guy that was found with the remains of seven people and that loped of his hand with a chainsaw because it was “supposedly” possessed by a demon.

 

But I'm asking you, you this one thing. Barry can I please have a raise? “For the last time Ash, No!” The gruff manager of S-Mart said without remorse. “I just don't have the man power, With Shelly's disappearance, half the town gone with that riot a few weeks back, and besides we already have Ted for manager of house wears. “Barry” I said “The kid is seventeen and half-baked 247”

As if on cue the teen stumbled in smelling of “herbal essence” “H-hey Mr.B what’s going on my main man!” he said red eyed. “I got those pans marked up for ya” “Ted you told me to it” I said. “Well hey Mr., Uhhh” He quickly looked at my name tag “Hello my name is” “It's Ash but close” I replied

 

While I was testing my wits against Chic over here, I saw a robed figured enter. Barry turned around “Can I help you sir?” The mustached manager said. “Yes” said the man letting his hood down. “You can help me, BY DIEING” His eyes bursted into flame, the room we where in seemed to darken. The nercomanicing fiend uttered dark words and Barry and Ted arose. There bodies jerked and spun like a weightless epileptic. Ted face was changed his eyes rolled back and he opened his mouth and vomit spewed all over the floor and then he screamed “SWALLOW YOUR SOUL” “Damn not these guys” I drew my M1911A1 45.caliber hand gun that I had in my back pocket knowing all too well that Ted was lost. I popped two in the deadites skull. Oatmeal like blood flooded out as he dropped. I aimed my sights at the robed Jack hole. I fired 5 shots at him. He dropped like a stack of bricks and landed on is stomach.

I put the handgun in my front pocket. And went to check on Barry he was okay. I walked over to the wannabe Gandalf. I reached down to turn him over. Using my jerry rigged metal hand. I slowly turned the freak over. He floated up right in front of me. “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE” He yelled. “Oly-SHiii” before I could finish, he had picked me up and thrown me out the window.

“It's alright” I said to myself. “The asphalt broke the fall”. I looked at the car next to me. It was a tan Oldsmobile, but not just any old Tan Oldsmobile. It was mine. Realizing this I hopped up. I quickly ran to the back of the car. I popped open the truck And There she was, my boomstick. Yes my double barrel Remington. You can find this in the sporting goods section and retails about 199.95, got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.

After I done thinking about my good ol' buddy boomstick I ran back into the store. I the creep was standing there with a smirk on his sickly face. His robes scorched black. “I AM CHRIST” He said with a rasp. “Well father” I said loading my double barrel. “I got five words for ya”

He lunged at me. I fired one shot at his stomach. “SHOP SMART” Intestines were plastered to the wall. He got up again. I fired my second shot at his right knee cap,

completely separating the leg. He fell on his back, Coughing up black blood, Cursing in tongues of old. I loaded two more shells. I pointed my shotgun two inches from his head. “Shop S-Mart” I Empty both shells in his head. Blood and Grey matter spewed all over my face. It was done. Barry walked over to me and said. “Ash, you’re the new manager of house wears. Oh and by the way, that was four words.” “Shut up” I replied

/care

it sucked

I... don't get it. :thinker:

Yes, quite crappy, which is probably why your engish teacher got raged.

We had to write a horror story for english. so I thought. hey jesus VS bruce cambell. we did'nt even get throu the prolog when the teacher stopped the reading

 

lawlz

 

Germany 1943….

Hans was cleaning his rifle in the barracks as he usually does, when he heard a noise. It was the door. A robed figure entered the room. Hans was calm as if the seas of his soul had turned into a serene lake. The hooded and robed figure said in soft words. “Come to me my child.” Hans slowly walked toward him. The figure let down his hood, “My child I am the messiah and I have returned” Hans stepped back “JEWDEN!”

Guards rushed in. “My children” man had said. “I come to you with good words” The guards start screaming random things. One snuck up behind the man a head butted him with a rifle.

 

The man awoke with a heavy pain on the back of his head. He found himself bound to a metal chair. He also noticed he was in a room full of the men that captured him. One of the men that was better dressed, approached him. “Who are you?” the man asked. “I am Jesus” replied the figure. The man slapped him across the face. “You are Jewden!” he screamed. “You have no name” In the following months Jesus was tortured and beaten by Nazis until one day in 1945.

 

Jesus was kneeling down by one of the inmates who was near death. One of the guards noticed him. The starved man stood up, his face as bright as the sun. With a smile on his face he walked off. The guard ran to the CO's office and told him of what happened. On the 8th of June 1945 Jesus was imprisoned, experimented on, brain washed, and cryogenically frozen............. next to Hitler

 

Dearborn, Michigan

1998

 

My name is Ash, and I am an S-Mart Employee. In these past eight years I've witnessed unspeakable evils. I have spared with demons from the nine hells themselves. And have been flung through time and space, to a land of death and despair, only to return a freak and a murder suspect. Sure, I mean its right to suspect a guy that was found with the remains of seven people and that loped of his hand with a chainsaw because it was “supposedly” possessed by a demon.

 

But I'm asking you, you this one thing. Barry can I please have a raise? “For the last time Ash, No!” The gruff manager of S-Mart said without remorse. “I just don't have the man power, With Shelly's disappearance, half the town gone with that riot a few weeks back, and besides we already have Ted for manager of house wears. “Barry” I said “The kid is seventeen and half-baked 247”

As if on cue the teen stumbled in smelling of “herbal essence” “H-hey Mr.B what’s going on my main man!” he said red eyed. “I got those pans marked up for ya” “Ted you told me to it” I said. “Well hey Mr., Uhhh” He quickly looked at my name tag “Hello my name is” “It's Ash but close” I replied

 

While I was testing my wits against Chic over here, I saw a robed figured enter. Barry turned around “Can I help you sir?” The mustached manager said. “Yes” said the man letting his hood down. “You can help me, BY DIEING” His eyes bursted into flame, the room we where in seemed to darken. The nercomanicing fiend uttered dark words and Barry and Ted arose. There bodies jerked and spun like a weightless epileptic. Ted face was changed his eyes rolled back and he opened his mouth and vomit spewed all over the floor and then he screamed “SWALLOW YOUR SOUL” “Damn not these guys” I drew my M1911A1 45.caliber hand gun that I had in my back pocket knowing all too well that Ted was lost. I popped two in the deadites skull. Oatmeal like blood flooded out as he dropped. I aimed my sights at the robed Jack hole. I fired 5 shots at him. He dropped like a stack of bricks and landed on is stomach.

I put the handgun in my front pocket. And went to check on Barry he was okay. I walked over to the wannabe Gandalf. I reached down to turn him over. Using my jerry rigged metal hand. I slowly turned the freak over. He floated up right in front of me. “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE” He yelled. “Oly-SHiii” before I could finish, he had picked me up and thrown me out the window.

“It's alright” I said to myself. “The asphalt broke the fall”. I looked at the car next to me. It was a tan Oldsmobile, but not just any old Tan Oldsmobile. It was mine. Realizing this I hopped up. I quickly ran to the back of the car. I popped open the truck And There she was, my boomstick. Yes my double barrel Remington. You can find this in the sporting goods section and retails about 199.95, got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.

After I done thinking about my good ol' buddy boomstick I ran back into the store. I the creep was standing there with a smirk on his sickly face. His robes scorched black. “I AM CHRIST” He said with a rasp. “Well father” I said loading my double barrel. “I got five words for ya”

He lunged at me. I fired one shot at his stomach. “SHOP SMART” Intestines were plastered to the wall. He got up again. I fired my second shot at his right knee cap,

completely separating the leg. He fell on his back, Coughing up black blood, Cursing in tongues of old. I loaded two more shells. I pointed my shotgun two inches from his head. “Shop S-Mart” I Empty both shells in his head. Blood and Grey matter spewed all over my face. It was done. Barry walked over to me and said. “Ash, you’re the new manager of house wears. Oh and by the way, that was four words.” “Shut up” I replied

 

worst shit ever

if i where the teacher i would beat you up

Honestly, i wrote better imagery then that in primary school. Comparing his mood to a sea of souls and a lake is for poetry, ***got.

Honestly, i wrote better imagery then that in primary school. Comparing his mood to a sea of souls and a lake is for poetry, ***got.

correct, also it doesn't seem like you bother to proof-read your work.

and you change mood too often with no coherency... that's complete garbage story telling skills

:blahb: :blahb: :blahb: :blahb:

 

 

ORLY?

I liked it.

Where is the fucken use of literary devices? You fail.

i got raged because of this

LEARN ENGLSIH K?

You didn't even start it with "Once upon a time "

We had to write a horror story for english. so I thought. hey jesus VS bruce cambell. we did'nt even get throu the prolog when the teacher stopped the reading

 

lawlz

 

Germany 1943….

Hans was cleaning his rifle in the barracks as he usually does, when he heard a noise. It was the door. A robed figure entered the room. Hans was calm as if the seas of his soul had turned into a serene lake. The hooded and robed figure said in soft words. “Come to me my child.” Hans slowly walked toward him. The figure let down his hood, “My child I am the messiah and I have returned” Hans stepped back “JEWDEN!”

Guards rushed in. “My children” man had said. “I come to you with good words” The guards start screaming random things. One snuck up behind the man a head butted him with a rifle.

 

The man awoke with a heavy pain on the back of his head. He found himself bound to a metal chair. He also noticed he was in a room full of the men that captured him. One of the men that was better dressed, approached him. “Who are you?” the man asked. “I am Jesus” replied the figure. The man slapped him across the face. “You are Jewden!” he screamed. “You have no name” In the following months Jesus was tortured and beaten by Nazis until one day in 1945.

 

Jesus was kneeling down by one of the inmates who was near death. One of the guards noticed him. The starved man stood up, his face as bright as the sun. With a smile on his face he walked off. The guard ran to the CO's office and told him of what happened. On the 8th of June 1945 Jesus was imprisoned, experimented on, brain washed, and cryogenically frozen............. next to Hitler

 

Dearborn, Michigan

1998

 

My name is Ash, and I am an S-Mart Employee. In these past eight years I've witnessed unspeakable evils. I have spared with demons from the nine hells themselves. And have been flung through time and space, to a land of death and despair, only to return a freak and a murder suspect. Sure, I mean its right to suspect a guy that was found with the remains of seven people and that loped of his hand with a chainsaw because it was “supposedly” possessed by a demon.

 

But I'm asking you, you this one thing. Barry can I please have a raise? “For the last time Ash, No!” The gruff manager of S-Mart said without remorse. “I just don't have the man power, With Shelly's disappearance, half the town gone with that riot a few weeks back, and besides we already have Ted for manager of house wears. “Barry” I said “The kid is seventeen and half-baked 247”

As if on cue the teen stumbled in smelling of “herbal essence” “H-hey Mr.B what’s going on my main man!” he said red eyed. “I got those pans marked up for ya” “Ted you told me to it” I said. “Well hey Mr., Uhhh” He quickly looked at my name tag “Hello my name is” “It's Ash but close” I replied

 

While I was testing my wits against Chic over here, I saw a robed figured enter. Barry turned around “Can I help you sir?” The mustached manager said. “Yes” said the man letting his hood down. “You can help me, BY DIEING” His eyes bursted into flame, the room we where in seemed to darken. The nercomanicing fiend uttered dark words and Barry and Ted arose. There bodies jerked and spun like a weightless epileptic. Ted face was changed his eyes rolled back and he opened his mouth and vomit spewed all over the floor and then he screamed “SWALLOW YOUR SOUL” “Damn not these guys” I drew my M1911A1 45.caliber hand gun that I had in my back pocket knowing all too well that Ted was lost. I popped two in the deadites skull. Oatmeal like blood flooded out as he dropped. I aimed my sights at the robed Jack hole. I fired 5 shots at him. He dropped like a stack of bricks and landed on is stomach.

I put the handgun in my front pocket. And went to check on Barry he was okay. I walked over to the wannabe Gandalf. I reached down to turn him over. Using my jerry rigged metal hand. I slowly turned the freak over. He floated up right in front of me. “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE” He yelled. “Oly-SHiii” before I could finish, he had picked me up and thrown me out the window.

“It's alright” I said to myself. “The asphalt broke the fall”. I looked at the car next to me. It was a tan Oldsmobile, but not just any old Tan Oldsmobile. It was mine. Realizing this I hopped up. I quickly ran to the back of the car. I popped open the truck And There she was, my boomstick. Yes my double barrel Remington. You can find this in the sporting goods section and retails about 199.95, got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.

After I done thinking about my good ol' buddy boomstick I ran back into the store. I the creep was standing there with a smirk on his sickly face. His robes scorched black. “I AM CHRIST” He said with a rasp. “Well father” I said loading my double barrel. “I got five words for ya”

He lunged at me. I fired one shot at his stomach. “SHOP SMART” Intestines were plastered to the wall. He got up again. I fired my second shot at his right knee cap,

completely separating the leg. He fell on his back, Coughing up black blood, Cursing in tongues of old. I loaded two more shells. I pointed my shotgun two inches from his head. “Shop S-Mart” I Empty both shells in his head. Blood and Grey matter spewed all over my face. It was done. Barry walked over to me and said. “Ash, you’re the new manager of house wears. Oh and by the way, that was four words.” “Shut up” I replied

 

k

k

 

your doing it right

ive written better prose with my shit in the toilet. i spelled out "DICK" with blocks of shit, and yes that is much better than your story.

u suck

d0wn']ive written better prose with my shit in the toilet. i spelled out "DICK" with blocks of shit' date=' and yes that is much better than your story.[/quote']

 

lol

d0wn']ive written better prose with my shit in the toilet. i spelled out "DICK" with blocks of shit' date=' and yes that is much better than your story.[/quote']

 

.

if i met an angel in the snow for every rotting victim there'd be wings to float this mothership out the gotham system

LEARN ENGLSIH K?

 

your sig makes me lol every time I see it

the first paraghraph was very well done and it went down a cliff like this after that

 

___________________________________________

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|

___________________________________________|_DEATH_____

Im sure the Pen was raged because you used it to write that, and im sure the paper was raged for having that written on it.

lol worst cliched ending ever.