Posted September 9, 200618 yr from http://www.****************.com/text/france.html - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. - Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. - War of Revolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. - The Dutch War - Tied - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. - World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. - War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?" "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
September 9, 200618 yr Author all your threads suck, just stop posting ok please, enlighten me with one of your quality threads :wow:
September 9, 200618 yr please, enlighten me with one of your quality threads :wow: sorry, the Russell_Crowe discussion threads have been discontinued for the time being, wait for something major to happen and you will probably see one pop up if you don't believe me, check way back in the flames section Awesome sig... Just awesome. thanks Tom, it was made by audistarr
September 9, 200618 yr Author sorry, the Russell_Crowe discussion threads have been discontinued for the time being, wait for something major to happen and you will probably see one pop up if you don't believe me, check way back in the flames section thanks Tom, it was made by audistarr rofl! nice threads, you must be french
September 9, 200618 yr rofl! nice threads, you must be french No I'm not, sorry. Seriously you zinged me hard with that comeback, it almost got to me good one.
September 10, 200618 yr Author Agreed Russell owns you and your Truck Driving mother rofl looks like everyone here wants in on frenchies cock
September 10, 200618 yr Good thread, it was enlightening to read the failure of France, and to think I do French at school!
September 11, 200618 yr I'm not an anti american bangbus but the military history of the usa is hardly glorious, WW1, joined when france, germany and great britain had completely blown the shit out of each other in a manner not seen before or since and had about 3 sane and fit soldiers left between them all. WW2, joined when france germany and great britain had had 2 years to blow the shit out of each other and germany had just invaded russia ensuring that they would be ass raped by the commies and have to send most of their forces and all their best men to the east. Korea, won just. Vietnam, got soundly beaten by a small guerilla force of barely trained and poorly equipped farm people. Iraq, won the first one by bombing iraqs antiquated army into the ground, currently recieving a vietnamesque ass raping at the hands of the troglodyte people insurgency. Us miltary history isn't much to be proud of tbh. France has also spent the last 2000 years sat inbetween 2 countries (britain and germany) whose national pastime is declaring war on france then invading. Read some stuff about the battle of verdun for example then you will realise why france has a less than glorious view of war. Fool.
September 11, 200618 yr I'm not an anti american bangbus but the military history of the usa is hardly glorious, WW1, joined when france, germany and great britain had completely blown the shit out of each other in a manner not seen before or since and had about 3 sane and fit soldiers left between them all. WW2, joined when france germany and great britain had had 2 years to blow the shit out of each other and germany had just invaded russia ensuring that they would be ass raped by the commies and have to send most of their forces and all their best men to the east. Korea, won just. Vietnam, got soundly beaten by a small guerilla force of barely trained and poorly equipped farm people. Iraq, won the first one by bombing iraqs antiquated army into the ground, currently recieving a vietnamesque ass raping at the hands of the troglodyte people insurgency. Us miltary history isn't much to be proud of tbh. France has also spent the last 2000 years sat inbetween 2 countries (britain and germany) whose national pastime is declaring war on france then invading. Read some stuff about the battle of verdun for example then you will realise why france has a less than glorious view of war. Fool. Yes its true we came in late in WWI but we made it end faster, as for WWII, its a real shame Mussolini couldn't beat anybody in the Balkans, that would've set the Nazi invasion for May 22nd 1941 instead of June 22nd. 1 month makes all the difference to get your reserves up if your Russia. Vietnam, you can blame Macnamera's rules of engagement for US troops losing. Recent wars, ha, what recent wars? The enemy is years behind US forces in technology and its just a slaughter house... That is no war.
September 13, 200618 yr Recent wars, ha, what recent wars? The enemy is years behind US forces in technology and its just a slaughter house... That is no war. Indeed.. they never show the number of insurgents dead but i would be willing to bet its at least 100:1 not to mention in Iraq they seem to be focusing more effort on killing each other than engaging US troops
September 13, 200618 yr [myg0t]DKay this goes out to you Studmuffin! <3 The complete Military History of France "WE SURRENDER!!!" FIXED
September 13, 200618 yr please, enlighten me with one of your quality threads :wow: http://forums.myg0t.com/showthread.php?t=29788
September 13, 200618 yr Geesus;380535']http://forums.myg0t.com/showthread.php?t=29788 bangbus owned by legendary thread.
September 13, 200618 yr Author humpy;380538']bangbus owned by legendary thread. Loool if you call that ownage i don't want to be raged by you :wow:
