Posted June 6, 200420 yr probably heard most of them before, but they are still funny. Good nigger jokes 1) Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet? Identification 2) Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats? So birds won't shit on their lips 3) How do you stop black kids from jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling 4) Why do niggers smell so bad? So blind people can hate them too 5) Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time? He doesn't know he's black 6) Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He's black 7) How do you get a nigger down from a tree Cut the rope 8) How do you stop a nigger from hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back 9) What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg? Stop laughing and re-load 10) How many niggers does it take to pave a road? Depends on how you slice them 11) What's green and pink and purple and orange? A nigger dressed for church 12) What's the difference between a deer in the road and a nigger in the road? The deer has skid marks in front of it 13) What is wrong with 4 niggers going over a cliff in a cadilac? It seats 5 14) What do you say when you see your t.v. floating around at night? Drop it nigger 15) Why are niggers so strong? T.V.'s are getting heavier 16) Why are niggers so fast? All slow ones are in jail 17) What do you call a nigger having sex? Rape 18) What happened to the nigger that had an abortion? Crime stoppers sent her a check for 500 dollars 19) What are 3 things you can't give a nigger? A black eye, a fat lip, and a job 20) How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off his head 21) What is the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out at night without robin 22) What's the definition of mass confusion? Father's Day in Harlem 23) Why shouldn't you hit a nigger riding a bike? Because the bike is probably yours 24) Why do white people go to black people's garage sales? To get their stuff back 25) What do black kids get for Christmas? Your bike 26) What is long and hard on a nigger? First Grade 27) Why do Black People lean to the middle when they drive? They think the smells comin' from the outside 28) Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots. 29) Why do niggers have red eyes after having sex ? Because of the pepper spray 30) What's the difference between a nigger and a bike? When you put chains on a bike it doesn't start singing 31) How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Ever try taking a rib from a nigger? 32) What was missing from the million man march? An auctioneer 33) How long does it take a nigger to shit? Nine months 34) What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start 35) What does a smart nigger, and Santa Clause have in common? They're both fictional characters 36) Why are the trees in harlem so close together? Public transportation 37) In 4th Grade who has the biggest dick, the wetback, the white boy, or the nigger? The nigger,,, he's 16 38) What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 black men? victim 39) How about a white man surrounded by 10 men? A quarter-back 40) How about a white man surrounded by 20 black men? basketball coach and a white man surrounded by 40 black men? a football coach and finally a white man surrounded by 1,000 black men? a warden 41) What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? Antique farm equipment 42) What's long and black? The unemployment line 43) How do you start a black parade? By rolling a penny down the street 44) What goes Fee Fi Foe Fee Fi Foe Fee? Mike Tyson giving out his phone number 45) What do black people give their daughter when she turns 13? A baby shower 46) Why do niggers wear high heel shoes? So their knuckles won't drag on the ground 47) What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a nigger? A dumb gorilla 48) What do you get when you cross a monkey and a nigger? Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck niggers 49) What do niggers and sperm have in common? Only one in two million work 50) Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
June 6, 200420 yr Author 51) How did the nigger break his leg raking the leaves? He fell out of the tree . 52) How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected. 53) What do you call a nigger in a suit? Defendant 54) What do black girls and bears have in common? They both suck their paws 55) What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face 56) How do you get niggers out of your neighborhood? Hide all the good cardboard boxes 57) Why do police dogs lick their asses so much? To get the taste of NIGGER out of their mouths 58) Why do niggers have flat noses? When they are born the doctor drops them on the floor, steps on the back of their heads and jerks the tail out 59) What's black and white and red all over? A nigger and seagull fighting over a french fry on the Jersey shore! 60) What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk? A nigger and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing! 61) Did you hear about the little black kid who got diarrhea? He thought he was melting 62) What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbeque? Charcoal. 63) How do you make a nigger nervous? Take him to an auction. 64) What do you call two nigger motorcycle cops? Chocolate CHiPs. 65) A cowboy, an indian, and a black man are sitting at a bar. the indian turns to the black man and says, "We once were many but now we're few". the black man replies, "We once were few but now we're many". the cowbay over hears all this and says to the black man, " Thats because we haven't played cowboys and niggers yet". 66) Did you hear of the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check . 67) What does NAACP stand for? Niggers are actually colored polocks. 68) What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion? A member of Crimestoppers of America. 69) Whats the difference between a black and a snow tire? A snow tire won't sing when you put chains on it. 70) There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school. 71) What is the American dream? All the niggers go back to Africa with a Jew under each arm! 72) A ship sinks and the only survivors are a Russian, a Jamaican, a skinhead and a nigger. At sea for days, they finally come within sight of land. The Russian opens a hidden bottle of Stoli vodka, takes one swig and throws the remainder of the bottle into the water much to the other passangers dismay. The Russian explains that where he comes from, there is plenty of Stoli, it is worth nothing and means nothing. The Jamaican then procceds to light a huge blunt, takes one hit, and then throw the remainder to sea explaining, 'Mon, in my country we have plenty of marijuanna, it is worth nothing, means nothing.' So then the White man from New Jersey throws the nigger into the water! 73) What do you say to a black man in uniform? "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke." 74) What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant? Unemployment. 75) How can you spot a Black masochist? He's the one working for a living. 76) Hear about the black version of "Shogun"? It's called "Shonuff". 77) Why did all the blacks die in Vietnam? When the sergent said "Get down!", they got up and started dancing. 78) What do you call a black-midget in Ireland? A lepra-coon. 79) What are the six words you never ever want to hear a black man say? "Hi, I be yo' new neighbor." 80) Why do blacks call white people "honkies"? That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over. 81) How was break dancing invented? By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars. 82) Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many niggers? California had first choice. 83) What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist? A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time 84) Wht is the New York State motto? Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a nigger in Central park." 85) What do you say to a nigger in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise." 86) Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving.? Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays. 87) Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia? He kept waking up twice a week. 88) What do niggers say during foreplay? "If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!" 89) If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be? The brains of the outfit. 90) What is eight miles long and has an I.Q. of 68? The "Martin Luther King Day" parade. 91) How do you stop five niggers from raping a white woman? Throw them a basketball 92) What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school? How to unlock a car with a coat hanger. 93) Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem? Cats keep trying to bury the baby niggers. 94) Hear about the new perfume for black women? It's called "Eau de doo dah day." 95) Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit? They heard there were no jobs there. 96) What is white yet has a black asshole? The Washington D.C. Mayor's office. 97) What does cotton have in common with noses? Niggers are good at picking both. 98) What do you call a conversation between Jesse Jackson and James Brown? Gibberish 99) Why was the wheelbarrow invented? To teach Niggers to walk on their hind legs. 100) What is printed on all African products? "Untouched by human hands."
June 6, 200420 yr MYG)T IS A MULTICULTURAL COMMUNITY, MYG)T RUNS AN EQUIL OPPATIUNITY POLICY AND SOME MEMBERS OF AFRICAN ORIGIN MAY FIND THOSE COPY AND PASTED JOKES, IN A FAILED ATTEMPT TO EARN RESPECT, OFFENCIVE.
June 6, 200420 yr MYG)T IS A MULTICULTURAL COMMUNITY, MYG)T RUNS AN EQUIL OPPATIUNITY POLICY AND SOME MEMBERS OF AFRICAN ORIGIN MAY FIND THOSE COPY AND PASTED JOKES, IN A FAILED ATTEMPT TO EARN RESPECT, OFFENCIVE. stfu
June 6, 200420 yr Author MYG)T IS A MULTICULTURAL COMMUNITY, MYG)T RUNS AN EQUIL OPPATIUNITY POLICY AND SOME MEMBERS OF AFRICAN ORIGIN MAY FIND THOSE COPY AND PASTED JOKES, IN A FAILED ATTEMPT TO EARN RESPECT, OFFENCIVE. blah blah blah blah
June 6, 200420 yr and again, someone who thinks he can score points by again making these "jokes"... most likely posted atleast 700 times in forum history but oh well... kinda outdated subject...
June 6, 200420 yr Author You Know You're White Trash When... 1. You've spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass. 2. You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. 3. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 4. When someone asks to see your I.D. you show your belt buckle. 5. Your Junior and Senior Proms had a day care. 6. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro Light from her lips before telling the cops to kiss her ass. 7. You've used lard in bed. 8. The primary color of your car is "Bondo." 9. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road." 10. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. 11. Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps. 12. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. 13. You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle. 14. Jack Daniel makes your list of "most admired Americans." 15. Your wife's hairdo has been ruined by a ceiling fan. 16. You see no need for a rest stop because there's an empty milk jug in the car. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging. 19. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side front window of your car. 20. You barbecue Spam. 21. You often have to scratch your sister's name from the message "For a good time call _______." 22. Your brother-in-law is also your uncle. 23. Red Man Tobacco sends you a Christmas card. 24. You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you were at work. 25. Your dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade. 26. Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. 27. You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet girls. 28. You prominently display the souvenir you got at Graceland. 29. Your house doesn't have curtains, unlike your truck. 30. When your front porch collapses, three or more dogs die. 31. You've signed a petition to change the national anthem to "Nothing Could Be Finer Than to Be in Carolina." 32. You call the boss "Dude." 33. You think "Volvo" is part of a woman's anatomy. 34. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 35. You've been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. 36. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at "The House of Tattoos." 37. Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an opening on the lube rack. 38. You need an estimate from the barber before you get a haircut. 39. After making love you ask your date to roll down the window. 40. You pass out Styrofoam cups at your wedding reception for people to spit in.
June 6, 200420 yr You know you go to sausage fests weekly if you post stupid ass shit that you found on another forum just to look cool.
June 6, 200420 yr 2. You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. 9. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road." 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 20. You barbecue Spam....<--- did this just last weekend for my dog. lmao...I have done/had all of these once in my life....lol
June 6, 200420 yr Author You know you go to sausage fests weekly if you post stupid ass shit that you found on another forum just to look cool. i did this to look cool to a bunch of guys on the internet, thats right.
June 6, 200420 yr You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. damn... means im trash eh :D
June 6, 200420 yr i did this to look cool to a bunch of guys on the internet, thats right. sarcasm only works when you say the OPPOSITE of what really happened. try again.
June 7, 200420 yr you might be a redneck if you refuse to slide in softball because you don't want to crush your cigarettes :O
June 7, 200420 yr sarcasm only works when you say the OPPOSITE of what really happened. try again. are you fucking retarded? or being sarcastic
June 11, 200420 yr :bj: :gaysex: :ghugugh: :stupid: :drama: Im not posting anything that has to do with nigger jokes, I just wanted to post a smiley spam
June 14, 200420 yr How do you stop black kids from jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Invite the mexicans and say he's a pinata
June 14, 200420 yr How do you get them down? Invite the mexicans and say he's a pinata i hope you werent trying to be funny
June 16, 200420 yr YOU HAVE OFFEND MY RACE AND SKIN COLOR DONT POST GARABE LIKE THAT AGAIN! What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? Niggers. Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit. What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase? Branch manager. How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. Why do niggers cry during sex? The Mace. How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head. How do you get a nigger out of a tree? Cut the rope. What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger? Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence. Why do niggers stink? So blind people can hate them too. What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic? Someone too lazy to steal. Why don't niggers take aspirin? They refuse to pick the cotton out. What do nigger kids get for Christmas? Your bike. What's a niggers idea of foreplay? "Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch." Why do spics drive low-riders? So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time. What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy? A chain of empty retail stores. Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox? Cats keep covering them up. What do you call an apartment full of niggers? A COON-dominium. Why are there no nigger astronauts? Their lips explode at 50,000 feet. How do you babysit a niglet? Wet his lips and stick him to the wall. How do you get him down? Teach him to say "Motherfucker." How else do you babysit a niglet? Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump. How do you get him down? Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party. Why do jews have big noses? Air is free. What is a nigger on a bike? Thief. What's long and black and smells like shit? The welfare line. What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean? Good start. What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life? First grade. How was break dancing invented? Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars. Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards? To teach their kids how to walk. How do you know Adam and Eve were not black? You ever try to take a rib from a nigger? What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it. What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?" Why are chimps always frowning? They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers. Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball? The harder you hit it the more English you get. How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon? All of them if you put them in the ashtray. A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first? Who cares. A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first? The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall. Why don't spics have barbeques? The beans keep falling through the grill. You hear about the new car made in Israel? Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up. What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head? A quarter-pounder. How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth? All of them. How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia? Roll a doughnut down the street. How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway? One if you spread him real thin. How do you blindfold a chink? Dental floss. How do chinks name their kids? They throw silverware down the stairs. What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit? The bag. What's the most confusing day in Harlem? Father's Day. When does a Black man turn into a nigger? As soon as he leaves the room. What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education? Nigger. What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit? The defendant. There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving? The cop. Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He doesn't know he's black. How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit? 9 months. Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics? To keep the flies off the chicken. Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes? California got first pick. Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels? So they can drive handcuffed. Why are niggers like sperm? Only one in a million actually work. What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms? Niger nigger nigger. How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box? Tell them its a raft. Why do police dogs lick their ass? To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth. What can a pizza do that a nigger can't? Feed a family of four. Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet? I.D. What is red green yellow orange purple and pink? A nigger dressed for church. Why do niggers have flat noses? That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails. Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots? They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending. What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl? A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?" Did you hear about the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check. What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing. What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla? A dumb gorilla. What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go out at night without Robin. Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers? It comes in a spray can. What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls? It's still legal to own a pit-bull. What do you say to a black man in uniform? "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke." Why do niggers walk the way they do? Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger. What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit? He ate six crocs before they could pull him out. Why do niggers call white people "honkies"? That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over. How do you stop a nigger from going out? Pour more gas on him. Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia? He kept waking up twice a week. What do you do if you run over a nigger? Reverse. Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales? To get all their stuff back. Who were the three most famous women in black history? Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker! Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"? You put it on the front of your car. What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common? They're both niggers. How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read? They're both niggers.
