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STOP THE TEASIN AND START THE PLEASIN! A Lolokaust guide to Romance in MSpaint

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Welcome Myg0t community to the romance guide special from the LOLOKAUST!

To get you hopeless romantics in the mood for love, we present to you the 7th MSpaint guide to getting laid. We are going to break this down in clear, easy to read sections to help you get in the mood for what you must do. Read on and win at life.

 

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/e1ffd3560558440c2dc6c05039cfe3b2.gif

 

PART 1: THE PRESSURE

BUILDING UP TO THE MAGIC MOMENT

 

 

IN THE NEED

 

Men are very simple creatures. There are three things a man needs to keep him happy, the three F's: fighting, fucking and feeding. If a guy can do all three at once you have a very happy man. It's a bit like the caveman mentality when dealing with the opposite sex. Too often, men try to disguise their intentions to a woman by spewing verbal bullshit to get her into bed. At the Lolokaust we always cut through the bullshit and give you the quickest way to get what you want, WHAT YOU FUCKING NEED! Read on.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/36d8791dca509e9a7c05c8fb765374d5.png

 

 

 

 

THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT

Joey is a 42 year old computer engineer. He has no friend's and no relatives. His only hobby is IRC chat and searching porn on the internet. He has never met a woman in his whole life, even though there are women in his company, he is full of hate and he has the need to fuck a woman. In his desperation he only sees one solution.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/05cb8fea3cf10e3770dc1f893e6bd761.png

 

 

 

 

PICKING YOUR TARGET

This needs to be chosen wisely. Professions are something to take into consideration. A popular fuckbuddy of choice is a nurse, they are good with their hands and know how to please. They also work quite late which means enticing them into the back of your van should be easier under the cover of darkness.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/597cc891f2e487d1c0c2cf6f12ee8d3c.png

 

 

 

 

PART2: METHODS AND MAYHEM

ENJOYING EACH OTHER

 

 

TRICKS OF THE TRADE

 

Persuading your partner can be a challenge. A little chemical help is sometimes needed. One of our regular guide subscribers related how he helped some sweetmeat to do the right thing by slipping a little benzodiazepine into her drink. Just as she was about to pass out, he took her away from the party to a hotel room, some miles away. He was able to get her in the room, throw the cunt on the bed and pump her gash with his meatfeast. After a while she woke up to find a total stranger stuffing his manmeat up her shitbox. He fled the scene immediately; leaving tasty little sugartits without her clothes, a phone, money or a fucking clue where she was or who had just been inside her! LOLLOOOLOLOOOLLLOOLLOOL.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/fca3717cd3d1fcfa02a2f6ab02216ecd.gif

 

 

 

SUPPRESSING RESISTANCE

 

Sometimes they can get a bit feisty or resistant. In such cases you have to create a diversion. For instance, a person with his leg hanging off after being hit by a bus will not be too concerned with his sniffling cold. You must use this principle when calming down your target. Perhaps if you bite a chunk out of her cheek and spit it back in her face, she will be more concerned with stopping the bleeding than preventing you putting your lust inside her.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/48616d88893880b711b4351504769a10.png

 

DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY

 

It's important to get the most out of your partner. You want them to be intensely affected by this invasion so heavy breathing in their ear and kissing them so hard it hurts is important. Regular eye contact also affects them in a long lasting way, they will never forget you. Whispering sweet nothings in their ear sets the mood, "fuck with me cunt and I'll knife you" is very romantic. Tying their hands behind their back is sometimes a good idea. Thrashing around can be a good ride but a still subject will allow you to thrust deeper. When pumping the pussy, imagine you're drilling for oil, the rougher you are, the bigger the man you are and blood on your peepee is win. What about condoms? These stop us transmitting sexual diseases and block pregnancy so why bother? Besides, the feeling of your penis rubbing the walls of a girls vagina as she screams for help is very arousing.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/f78107078498007f2ddbfb7edc3d011a.png

Edited by jewdozer

  • Author

MY SISTER IS MY BEST FRIEND

I can remember when my mother brought my sister home. I was only five but I knew even then that I would be inside her one day. I used to watch her get changed through the crack in the door, I mean if she didn't want it, she would have shut the door, right? It was the first time our parents went away without us and left us in the house, I was 22 and she was 17. The best thing was, I didn't have to break into the house to get to her, I just had to make my move when she was asleep. I waited till night time and then pounced. When she woke up she was tied to the bed, gagged and was looking at a knife next to my throbbing cock. I cut her nose open and stuffed my fuck up her nasal cavity. There was some muffled noise coming from her, I can only guess it was words of gratitude.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/c5077836636fb86d21ded61c456adaf6.png

 

 

 

 

TWO'S COMPANY, THREES A CROWD

Imagine three afro jungle bunnies raping a white woman whilst they eat her alive.

It's a Ritual, celebrated to the God of Death, they believe if they don't calm him by raping white women, a great terror will fall upon them. They use ropes on her arms, legs and mouth to subdue her. She's almost impaled, and they rape her anal and vaginal territory. She screams and a young afro boy is watching all the action, he enjoys it.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/f805d8962d7ae4af3a9a9c6e416a2c28.png

 

 

 

 

 

BUM FUN

 

Ever had a fat dick stuffed up your shit tunnel? Better still, have you ever been the one pushing your pole up some dudes crack? This maneuver can be a difficult one because your target is more likely to overpower you and prevent you recieving whats rightfully yours. You have to size up your sexual opponant. Ask yourself, if this means a bit of rough and tumble, will slapping this bitch around a little, subdue him enough to get some shit on my cock. If you can do it then fucking good for you faggot, we hope you die of aids.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/cbd9a9b5b3c81b88a62f5c0118f509e5.PNG

 

 

 

 

MOM HERE I COME!

They say the bond between a mother and son is stronger than iron. I say six inches of my pumping love muscle up between her tits is the best night’s passion I've ever had. At a certain time in life you have to move your relationship up a gear. I had no idea if my mother was ready to enter into a sexual relationship with me but after I'd beaten her face in so badly where even I couldn't recognize her, it didn't matter because kissing my mother on her bleeding lips made the effort of raising my hand to her worth it. I can still taste the iron in her blood, it was wonderful.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/94c62434a349c13042e3cfb18a4fd25e.png

 

 

 

YOUR FUCK IS A WEAPON

What was your childhood like? If it was anything like mine then we are talking finger, bum, bed if I was naughty. Don't think that weak little urchin will stay that way. If you are a parent who is sneaking into the kid's room for a quick pleasure session then remember these crimes will catch up with you later in life. Revenge tastes so sweet, especially when it's been brewing up for years, child abusers take note!

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/41d973cd156e4f8dfecf81118aed8055.png

 

 

 

 

SAFE SEX

Sometimes after a night of fucktastic action they will act bizarrely, even going to the police for some odd reason. Practice safe sex, yes, remove all body hair and burn it. Police will attempt to get a DNA match from your cock hairs that might have fallen into her minge. Another precaution is to rip her fingernails out with some pliers to stop any of your skin DNA being collected. This will cause much pleasure, well, for you anyway because to you her screams will be like lullabies to an infant. After hair and nails have been disposed of, make her take a shower with you to ensure everything is clean. This is very erotic when you are wiping her clit with drain cleaner and holding a knife to her throat in the shower. Alternatively stab her to death and burn the body.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/82dec6d9437da139c96d49506c521ec4.png

 

 

REVENGE

Sometimes you guys might get a bit more than you bargained for. In one case reported, the girl gained the upper hand. The man had got her on the floor with a knife to her throat but the girl appeared to be enjoying herself. Upon seeing this, he decided to put the knife down and pump away. Just as he was about to shoot his load up her box, he put his head back, shut his eyes and gave out a moan which ironically became his death rattle. The fucking sly bitch took the knife and cut his dick off whilst it was still inside her. Upon severing his lovetool she stood back and watched a huge spray of blood and semen. As he wormed around in his own fluids, she calmly walked off to the nearest police station with his severed cock inside her, as evidence of his unlawful entry.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/cd4dcba254937f402b57eabd0d553874.png

  • Author

POWER IN NUMBERS

It's always harder for the ladies to subdue a potential target due to us guys being physically stronger. If a girl tries to rape a guy, assuming he doesn't want it / is a faggot, then she will probably get her face caved in. This is where friends and body fat come in. As long as you and your co conspirator can get hold of him then all should be dandy. Use your body weight to drag him to the ground. Sit on his face whilst eating junk food for extra pleasure, just don't expect him to get a stiffy. Popular late night hunting grounds are kicking out time outside nightclubs, taxi drivers and parks. If you jump a dude in a park at least his dog might gobble him off as you sit on his face. Perhaps go to the toilet on him when you’ve finished.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/0fa5e5fe808d578f7f7c00e91b56d161.png

 

 

 

 

PART3: THE AFTERMATH

 

 

LEAVING THEM WITH GIFTS, I HAVE AIDS

You have now had a very intimate experience with someone. This person might try and move on with their life and forget about you afterwards, we can't let that happen, to ruin a life, is to win at life. The best thing you can do is give them your baby and, or aids. A baby is perfect because every time they look at this child, the memories of your crazed eyes staring them in the face as you invade their snatch will haunt them every day, especially if the bastard child has it's dad's eyes.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/13e9a0cd14a3f7b8439ef8a3688a1ecb.png

 

 

 

DEALING WITH THE COPS

Cop: "What were you thinking during your first Crime? Did you have any feeling's at all?"

 

When I made out with the first girl, I instantly noticed I fucking LOVE to dominate that whining bitch and the more she cries, the more I have to beat her.

 

First I was shocked about my feelings but then I noticed... It's the nature of Man... I have the need to violate... I have the need to satisfy my animalistic instinct to fuck her to death. This may be shocking for you but I think even your husband has those feelings Detective Karlsen.

 

Cop: “I won't talk about my Personal Life in here Mr. Jason. Instead let's talk about what you have done to all those poor Women."

 

Well, I usually used the newspapers to make contact, I've written a small ad saying: "Cheap Cloth designs - Call 691 488 666" and started waiting... The first good meat usually appeared after 1 or 2 weeks... I hate telling you this but I only get hard by unnatural Big Tits.

 

Well, there she was on the parking lot I told her to meet me on: "Emmingstreet Parking Slot 6"... I... I just smashed her face with my fist during the first 5 minutes and then took her clothes off.

 

Some of my meat was K-O'd after the punching, but not with my first one, she was crying and asking why I was doing this to her, I didn't answer, I was too occupied with getting her clothes off and getting her to the Van I'd prepared some Meters away.

 

Cop: "What happened Inside the Car Mr Jason?"

 

I started beating her again, I fucked her twice and then I cut her titties off.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/60d8d0f6066fd9db02a09b0b0b2121f6.png

 

 

 

IN CONCLUSION

Well there we have it boys and girls. I hope, like all our guides, you read this and make some practical use of the information we have given you. Not all agree with our ‘no bullshit’ approach to such delicate subjects. To our critics, well, its been a pleasure doing business on you.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/6bd77ebf60ff094dedf46b78f34f6e8c.png

 

Project director:

Jewdozer

 

Text written by:

Jewdozer

with additional content by: 33a3

 

Art by:

Ajaa

33a3

Jewdozer

Piestar

  • Author
Jitler;620652']ALL IMAGES ARE BROKED FIX UR SHIT OR DELETE THE POST

Hit refresh, the tags are very particular here, I always type them out. Fixed.

  • Author

Testing>

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/4e16a0268d10b64381d71ca2046ce101.png

 

The images above have been put into my posts using the image tab with links that I know work.

Take a look at my posts and see.

Edited by jewdozer

  • Author

Odd thing is I came on last night and all images were working. The same pics work other places we put this so the problem is definately on forum side.

 

 

cocks. yes i give up.

Odd thing is I came on last night and all images were working. The same pics work other places we put this so the problem is definately on forum side.

 

 

cocks. yes i give up.

 

Hooray, another noob who does not understand internet.

  • Author

Steal that from another site? 4chan? Yes I see a copy pasta. I post from originality, I suggest you do the same and stop wasting my bandwidth on dogshit I've seen a million times before.

 

The pics are back up, it's official, this forum is broken sometimes. Tagging pics on a forum is not fucking science but making boards that work can be. VB is generally stable.

Steal that from another site? 4chan? Yes I see a copy pasta. I post from originality, I suggest you do the same and stop wasting my bandwidth on dogshit I've seen a million times before.

 

The pics are back up, it's official, this forum is broken sometimes. Tagging pics on a forum is not fucking science but making boards that work can be. VB is generally stable.

 

Lmao, you're so stupid.

  • Author
Lmao, you're so stupid.

 

Why? Because I can string a post together that has more than 5 throw away words that nobody will remember?

 

Thats the kind of reply I get from a tard who can't think of anything to say.

 

Take another bite little fishy.

Why? Because I can string a post together that has more than 5 throw away words that nobody will remember?

 

Thats the kind of reply I get from a tard who can't think of anything to say.

 

Take another bite little fishy.

 

Although you use your intelligence against other members of myg0t let me inform you that your fifth grade knowledge won't cut it here. You come in and flame like you're a bad ass hoping to "contibute" but really your post should be moved to rage and be left to die just like every other useless unworthy post on this site. I hate to inform you that you aren't even intelligent enough to use tags and it's another thing to blame it on forum software.

 

And really I don't care if you're a troll. You're both a failfag and a unloved abused little downer boy that was raised by his drunken Auntie.

 

Thank you, you may leave.

  • Author
Although you use your intelligence against other members of myg0t let me inform you that your fifth grade knowledge won't cut it here. You come in and flame like you're a bad ass hoping to "contibute" but really your post should be moved to rage and be left to die just like every other useless unworthy post on this site. I hate to inform you that you aren't even intelligent enough to use tags and it's another thing to blame it on forum software.

 

And really I don't care if you're a troll. You're both a failfag and a unloved abused little downer boy that was raised by his drunken Auntie.

 

Thank you, you may leave.

 

If you decide to have a nibble then expect a bite back. Lets run with this, go into my post by hitting the quote button and see the img tags and then tell me where I'm going wrong.

Screen capture it, post it back with diagrams and I will declare you my master and bow before you.

Welcome Myg0t community to the romance guide special from the LOLOKAUST!

To get you hopeless romantics in the mood for love, we present to you the 7th MSpaint guide to getting laid. We are going to break this down in clear, easy to read sections to help you get in the mood for what you must do. Read on and win at life.

 

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/e1ffd3560558440c2dc6c05039cfe3b2.gif

 

PART 1: THE PRESSURE

BUILDING UP TO THE MAGIC MOMENT

 

 

IN THE NEED

 

Men are very simple creatures. There are three things a man needs to keep him happy, the three F's: fighting, fucking and feeding. If a guy can do all three at once you have a very happy man. It's a bit like the caveman mentality when dealing with the opposite sex. Too often, men try to disguise their intentions to a woman by spewing verbal bullshit to get her into bed. At the Lolokaust we always cut through the bullshit and give you the quickest way to get what you want, WHAT YOU FUCKING NEED! Read on.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/36d8791dca509e9a7c05c8fb765374d5.png

 

 

 

 

THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT

Joey is a 42 year old computer engineer. He has no friend's and no relatives. His only hobby is IRC chat and searching porn on the internet. He has never met a woman in his whole life, even though there are women in his company, he is full of hate and he has the need to fuck a woman. In his desperation he only sees one solution.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/05cb8fea3cf10e3770dc1f893e6bd761.png

 

 

 

 

PICKING YOUR TARGET

This needs to be chosen wisely. Professions are something to take into consideration. A popular fuckbuddy of choice is a nurse, they are good with their hands and know how to please. They also work quite late which means enticing them into the back of your van should be easier under the cover of darkness.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/597cc891f2e487d1c0c2cf6f12ee8d3c.png

 

 

 

 

PART2: METHODS AND MAYHEM

ENJOYING EACH OTHER

 

 

TRICKS OF THE TRADE

 

Persuading your partner can be a challenge. A little chemical help is sometimes needed. One of our regular guide subscribers related how he helped some sweetmeat to do the right thing by slipping a little benzodiazepine into her drink. Just as she was about to pass out, he took her away from the party to a hotel room, some miles away. He was able to get her in the room, throw the cunt on the bed and pump her gash with his meatfeast. After a while she woke up to find a total stranger stuffing his manmeat up her shitbox. He fled the scene immediately; leaving tasty little sugartits without her clothes, a phone, money or a fucking clue where she was or who had just been inside her! LOLLOOOLOLOOOLLLOOLLOOL.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/fca3717cd3d1fcfa02a2f6ab02216ecd.gif

 

 

 

SUPPRESSING RESISTANCE

 

Sometimes they can get a bit feisty or resistant. In such cases you have to create a diversion. For instance, a person with his leg hanging off after being hit by a bus will not be too concerned with his sniffling cold. You must use this principle when calming down your target. Perhaps if you bite a chunk out of her cheek and spit it back in her face, she will be more concerned with stopping the bleeding than preventing you putting your lust inside her.

 

http://www.your-images.org/pics/48616d88893880b711b4351504769a10.png

 

DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY

 

It's important to get the most out of your partner. You want them to be intensely affected by this invasion so heavy breathing in their ear and kissing them so hard it hurts is important. Regular eye contact also affects them in a long lasting way, they will never forget you. Whispering sweet nothings in their ear sets the mood, "fuck with me cunt and I'll knife you" is very romantic. Tying their hands behind their back is sometimes a good idea. Thrashing around can be a good ride but a still subject will allow you to thrust deeper. When pumping the pussy, imagine you're drilling for oil, the rougher you are, the bigger the man you are and blood on your peepee is win. What about condoms? These stop us transmitting sexual diseases and block pregnancy so why bother? Besides, the feeling of your penis rubbing the walls of a girls vagina as she screams for help is very arousing.

 

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x73/_tarel_/super-cool-story-bro.png

 

Sucks that your img tags don't work.

In all seriousness thats the problem. One day they do next day they don't.

 

Shit you're right, I saw them last time I looked at this thread :/

It was an OK read. The pictures were mildly humorous.

 

Oh by the way, pictures work.

 

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/1543/myg0tloveguide.jpg

Edited by Pirate Jok3r

  • Author

Yes the pics do work but for the first few days they were on and off. Jews tried to block us.

Thanks.

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