Posted June 16, 200519 yr Here's the story: I had one of those shitty push lawnmowers, and I had to rake up the grass after I'd mowed. I was raking the grass up when this little mallard duck starts waddling straight for me. The stupid thing nips me on the back of the calf (I'm 6'0, and I weigh 275 lbs. I'm not a small person, and this duck was fucking with me...) It hurt like a bitch, and as I turned around, the fucker leaned up and bit me square on the ass. At this point I'm in pain and wondering if my neighbors have been breeding Attack Ducks in their backyard, so I do the only logical thing: I called the police. Yes, you read that right: I was being attacked by a duck and I called the police. They couldn't really help me, but they did direct me to Animal Control. These people only dealt with domestic animals, however. So I called the police again (I was going to make one operator laugh their ass off that day. I chose to let the cops do it.) And asked what the number for fish and game was. (they dealt with the wild animals.) Problem was, Fish & Game was closed. So I'm standing in my front yard, with a rake, pinning a duck to a fence, when a Cop-Mobile shows up. this guy evidently had a sense of humor. He got on the loudspeaker and said (And I quote :) "STEP AWAY FROM THE DUCK! PUT THE RAKE DOWN, AND STEP AWAY FROM THE DUCK!" I drop the rake and kinda run away from the duck. (They hurt when they bite) I get to the cop who's now left the safety of his cruiser and he asks me what I did to piss off the duck. "I was raking my lawn!" "Did you owe it money? Were you two fighting at the time?" This guy deserves a fucking medal. He kept a straight face as he asked if I wanted to press charges. (For what? Felonious Assault With Poultry?) In the mean time, my mom's called twice, and she knows of the duck and the police getting called. This is my shining achievement: Getting a cop to respond to an interSpecies domestic dispute. I suck at life. I was Pwned by a duck.
June 16, 200519 yr wow you're a TANK 6'0 275 lbs i think this link will help yuo: http://www.drphil.com/show/show.jhtml?contentId=3083_rules.xml
June 16, 200519 yr Lol, whether your telling the truth or not them ducks do bite hard, got snipped in the finger at a local lake.
June 16, 200519 yr MY FUCKING GOD!!! First off, I couldn't stop laughing, as it's far too easy to get a mental image of that going on.... But. What kind of pissant wussy are you? Duck bites are just pinches, man...a couple minor bruises, at the very WORST. Slap the fucking thing in the face as hard as you can and google a recipe for Peking Duck or Orange Duck, and have a meal, man! But still funny as fuck.
June 16, 200519 yr Funny story , but seriously : The next time a duck attacks you , kick it hard and eat it
June 16, 200519 yr your a fucking pussy i would have kicked the walking meal funny fucking story though the cop bit made me laugh the most
June 16, 200519 yr This guy deserves a fucking medal. He kept a straight face as he asked if I wanted to press charges. (For what? Felonious Assault With Poultry?) I suck at life. I was Pwned by a duck. HAHAHahhahahhahaha great story.......
June 16, 200519 yr your lucky it wasnt geese...Geese are way more vicious than ducks. I know from personal experience. They are bigger to, hiss, and usually attack you by having thheir whole flock circle you. Similiar to niggers.
June 16, 200519 yr Here's the story: I had one of those shitty push lawnmowers, and I had to rake up the grass after I'd mowed. I was raking the grass up when this little mallard duck starts waddling straight for me. The stupid thing nips me on the back of the calf (I'm 6'0, and I weigh 275 lbs. I'm not a small person, and this duck was fucking with me...) It hurt like a bitch, and as I turned around, the fucker leaned up and bit me square on the ass.............. I suck at life. I was Pwned by a duck. You win a gold star, the story made me rifk
June 16, 200519 yr your lucky it wasnt geese...Geese are way more vicious than ducks. I know from personal experience. They are bigger to, hiss, and usually attack you by having thheir whole flock circle you. Similiar to niggers. Swans are able to break your arms with their powerful wings.
June 16, 200519 yr cock smoker it's ichi the killer...not itchie. http://www.ichithekiller.net/ can you not even get that right
June 16, 200519 yr wtf? Go get someone to bash a swam with a newspaper you'll soon see the wrath of a swan, seriously though they are fucking powerful.
